I am 21yr old girl currently studying and preparing for MBA. I was in a 5 yr long relationship with a Man who is 7 yrs elder to me. Till we were bf gf, everything was ok not that good. We were madly in love with each other. When I turned 18, I eloped with this guy. We were completely different personalities with different goals in life. We used to argue and fight almost every other day. Finally, after getting frustrated of this vicious cycle, I decided to leave him and came back home after just 5 months of marriage. It’s been 2 years that we are separated. I am happy in home but he isn’t. He still coerces me to come back to his life. He says that he cannot live without me and if I give him divorce or try to get married to any other person, he will kill him and everyone in the family. He threatens me and my family. I don’t want to come back to him infact want to give him divorce. I’m even convincing him to get married and forget me. I don’t know what to do now. He follows me wherever I go and spies. I am struggling with my relationship though I have moved on. Also there is no legal support as he shows his power. Though my parents are supporting me but still there is no permanent solution right now. I am focusing on my studies. I feel time heals everything and I am keeping patience but still don’t know what to do?
Sorry to hear that you are the victim of such predatory behaviour. Under no circumstances is it acceptable for any person to threaten or blackmail, and especially not in the name of a previous relationship. Please don’t think you owe him anything. I have seen the likes of him, they all talk like that, “I can’t live without you”, “I’ll die”, “I’ll kill myself” this nothing but emotional blackmail. He is stalking you and not letting you live your life. If possible please complain to the police authorities. If you’re from India (I’m from Delhi) then the Women’s Helpline number is 1091. If you’re from the same region as me, you should definitely call the police and register his complaint. Don’t feel weak or threatened. The more we give in and soften, the weaker the other person thinks of us to be. I’m sure there will be a women’s helpline number around you or even NGOs that deal with all this. Since it is a matter of your security, I would suggest you take some action against this. After all, for how long will you put YOUR life on hold because of him? Do take action, be smart about it, don’t provoke him or anything, the message you want to be giving out is that you are not to be messed with and that he shouldn’t act smart or try to trouble you because you will take action against it. HE should feel threatened before coming near you or trying any stunts.Take care sis xx
Please take care and feel lucky that your family is still your support system. Sometimes things won’t go to the way we want and therefore we have to fight with the situations. Focus on your studies and try to get a big achievement. Time will make everything right.
Sorry to hear about that. But i must say you are lucky with your parents, i mean they are still supporting you and ya that’s good. But ya if that person is threatening you and doesn’t letting you live your life… you should take appropriate steps. Do take actions and don’t take it lightly coz these small things can turn into big later.