Thought

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Anonymous

I am 19 years old. I have been really bad at relationships . I fall in love very easily .I get attached to people too soon that at the end it completely breaks me down. Its been three months I started dating a guy ,he has been really nice to me . To me a relationship is something that has a commitment (I am not saying that it should last forever but I should atleast feel like the person with whom I am wants to be with me) .I never had a proper relationship,I was 13 when i first started dating but that was just a kiddish fantasy and a long distance relationship that ended gradually in a span of three months.One year back there was another guy with whom i conversated all night long and gradually my feelings for him has started to grow,maybe he observed that and asked me to confess.He gave me all positive signs from his sides ,made me trust him ,I confessed but the next day he told me all he could offer me is his friendship.I had a conversation with this guy for three months long. This had affected me so deep that I had isolated myself from everyone .But slowly I thought I should give myself another chance . I met the guy am dating now 3 months back ,but what makes me anxious is that he does not accept me in front of everyone.He wants to keep me anonymous and he is my classmate and we act like stangers in front of everyone.I had a 2 month talk on chat but the first time we met we had been intimate (This was the first time ) . We still have a good talk now he gives me time but i think the relationship has faded away .He has some kind of attraction towards my friend and says that he wants to give it a chance so that he does not regret later . Its difficult for me to let him go but at the same time for his happiness i tell him to do whatever he feels like.But he says he does not wants to leave me . This confusion of his disturbs my mind .He says am not the right person for him and he feels my friend would understand him more better .This makes me jealous sometimes and for no reason and i yell at my friend unintentionally . He also has never confessed his feelings never said "I love you " which i am literally waiting to hear those three words from him.He says he can’t love me,can’t leave me but also am not the right person for him . I dont know what should i do ,am overthinking abt it so much that it is killing me inside and disturbing my mental health .

Profile picture for Now&Me member @simranpatel
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2 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @simranpatel

Simran Patel @simranpatel

Hey, I’d like to tell you that a person who can get confused while being with you, isn’t worth your time. If he truly loved you, he wouldn’t have feelings for your friend. I know it’s hard, but you need to let him go. You are a gem for trying so hard and putting his happiness before yours but it’s going to take a toll on you eventually. Stay strong and let him go. More power to you.

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Anonymous

Hi there sweetheart, 
I can feel your pain. My first relationship was also while I was in school and it was immature at the time. Trust me from my experience, I’m 22 now, if the boy is not clear about you, let him go. If he doesn’t want to leave you, you leave him. He will use you for emotional support, drain you emotionally and leave you hurting. It’s best to resume friendship to safeguard yourself from this. Trust me, I too used to feel these intense feelings of anger and jealousy and I felt horrible that I had to fight for his attention. I’m now dating someone who makes me feel secure and loved, and we all deserve that. Look around you, maybe you’ve been ignoring someone who loves you truly and immensely but have been blinded by this stupid boy who just wants to fool around. Try to give this a shot, I know how disturbing it can be to be in a relationship like this where the other person is making you doubt yourself. Just remember, that with the right person, you will never have to remind them to love you, you will know how much you mean to then through their actions, and loyalty and genuine love for you. This boy probably just lusts you and is trying to get the best of all worlds. He is trouble. Stay as far away as possible, you have been warned my child, I wish you strength and wisdom to take the right decision ?

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