I acknowledge love exists, i’ve seen it every day, from good relationships within my family and most of my friends. However, I don’t believe it exists for me. For everyone i know there’s an inherent desire to be with someone else and the belief they can be. I don’t know if how i feel is so different from others, but i cannot grasp the concept of ever being with someone else. The idea is mixed with fear and sadly now almost disgust, believing (with an insane conviction) that nothing good could possibly ever come of it.
I’ve been placed into positions by friends to possibly get into relationships and i’ve attempted some on my own a few years back but I found myself not desiring to be in one in general which puts everyone i know at a loss . I don’t know why, but it’s frustrating when you try and explain it and no one seems to understand
