How ever hard I try . Nothing matters , it's just how my parents want it . I am tired I am 24 and I feel I have lost in life . Getting up daily in the morning with hopes and going to bed with disappointment. I don't know how long it's going to be like this 

Stay positive everybody gies through this tough phase

It's been a year since in passed out of college. Life is still the same no progress nothing . Still waiting for something to happen 

Wake up to reality. Nothing ever goes as planned. Keep pushing your limits. It's okay to feel down sometimes. But dont stay down. It's not about hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. 

Don't give up . The best is yet to come . Try figuring out what you wanna do for real . Stay positive 

Adulting

hey anyone wanna play some random trivia with me, im bored and lonely?
https://www.gimkit.com/join
the game pin is 818221

Lonely

I feel ridiculous. Why is suicide still crossing my mind? I still hate myself. Why am I living like this with no purpose? I just hate myself and attach my value to my tasks. When I'm unproductive, I start despising myself and consider myself useless. 

3am Thoughts

Part 4
Then one time she told me 
If you want to go away
We will get you hitched 
I think everytime she abuses me she reaches a new level of pain to give me.
I genuinely wanted to study further so that I can earn and help my family financially. I want to do something for which my family will be proud of me.But she said that if you start earning I don't know you will throw us out of this house or send is to old age home. Did I deserve to hear this ,after all this time ? I love them so much that once I  settle down I want to arrange a passive income which can help them in their old age .
I only feel loved by her when I agree with what she is saying ,or I do her work or I'm sick.That is why I love it when I get sick and pampered .She tells me I have grown old just by body otherwise I'm still a child .
Aren't we allowed to be a child in front of your parents? Aren't we allowed to be weak in front of them when we are already struggling ?

I over eat so much yet i under eat as well. Why can't i stop it hurts so much. I'm so tired. i want it to end.

Suicidal Ideation

idk where to start this guy was my really good friend, we never met in person, i met him online and we were like great buddies from doing stupid things together on video calls to being there for each other in bad times. recently from the past 3-4 months he was different,i know i was different too . we would fight a lot and at some point we were crossing limits of disrespecting each other (both of us). but we always forgave each other keeping in mind how the other person was there at our bad times when nobody else was. when all this started i started secretly hating him, but eventually it just happened that i got very disinterested in him and it almost felt like i was talking to some stranger and one such time we were again there fighting i was just so done that i didn't reply for a while and when i did i said a "bye<3" which actually meant final closure. He replied three days later with all those messages trying to act normal as if it was just another fight we'd resolve and be like before, i told him not to message me again and  I've had no messages since then i deleted all the message its been 15 days almost. all this time i couldn't feel anything. there wasn't even a tear in my eyes whereas i know he might be crying there. its now that im starting to realise that he's gone. I don't want to be friends with t
him anymore but i still want to call and ask him if he's okay.

Friends

I don’t talk well to others I just hide problems and hope I can make it to another day. I’m in a loveless marriage and have increasing debt my only escape is work. I have no one to talk to

Insecurity

Hiii everyone .
The thing is since the childhood my mother took care of me .I literally depend on her for everything she struggled so much and my father was a jobless man .My mother sacrificed a lot so that I can study better .There was no family support not from my Father's side and my mother's side .She did it alone  all by herself .As I graduated college I became more independent and I was like I can do things alone without my mother's support and I do not want to depend on her for every thing .She loves me so much .My siblings and me is all she have in her life .I also love her but as I grew up I want to become more independent ,I don't want to depend on my mother .I want to do things on my own. But recently my mother decided that we should all live together now I'm confused because I don't want to live with family I want to explore myself and want to become capable of my own but my mother wishes to be together with us and I can not say no to her she did so much for me .How can I tell her I want to live alone and become financially independent .She will not understand this as she loves her so much that it kinds of scare me that am I too selfish to think like that .it feels like I'm abandoning her .Also as I become more independent it feels like I'm not a family person  .I love my family and all but I want my separate life too this anxiety just makes me feel bad what should I do ? Does that make me a bad person because she suffered alot I don't want to hurt her .

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts