How does it get better? When will it get better? What gets better? Does it even get better?

The way things are right now isn’t the way they’ll be forever. If you feel stuck, believe it’s possible to feel differently. Believe in possibility itself.Believe in your ability to figure things out as you go. Stay open and willing to turn the next page, to read the next chapter without needing a title for it.
"Soon, when all is well, you’re going to look back on this period of your life and be so glad that you never gave up.”

It gets better. It will be better for you, for me and for everyone who is hopeful and holding on to it.

To us! 🥂

Life

I have always been that person who was know to be cold and heartless, someone who has no feelings and especially romantic ones. I was the girl who would break the hearts of the guys I was involved with (I did not mean to do that but, I cannot force myself to love someone) 
I spent a very long time like that. Until one day, I searched about aromantism, and I thought I was aromantic. However, this week, some weird things have been happening to me. I was getting lonelier every day. I longed for a particular person and that particular person was not even special. I just liked their presence around me. I know that my feelings are difficult to decipher and for 20 years I have never felt something like this. Now, I am afraid of loneliness,  afraid of not seeing that person but I don't want to see them. Even my body is rejecting these  strange feelings, my heart is beating fast and I feel depressed, I sleep a lot and I don't want to eat anything because I am nauseous. Deep inside, I think I know what I am feeling. Yet, I keep rejecting it because the person I am thinking about may be toxic to my independence , my self confidence and my perception of things. I am a strong independent woman, and I surely don't need any kind of feelings to stand between me and success, what should I do? 

One Sided Love

Following up on my last post, I feel a tiny bit better. I'm trying to keep my head straight, taking a deep breath, so hopefully I can get back to being happy and living normally again. :)
The whole idea of this sort of thing happening to me at the age of 24 is funny, yet painful at the same time. I feel pretty baffled. If it was 10 years ago, I wouldn't be as surprised, but this is some weird shit.

Hustle

I am not asking for a friend, just venting.
I am 23 but I realised I never had any friend in my life, I just had some people to talk to, be it school or college. Coz of my insecurities, and having a typical father, short tempored and manipulative one I got wrong lessons from him. Though he loves me but still my young yrs got wasted. I never enjoyed my life. And now I am facing many mental health issues. Can't even face the world outside. Everything is fuxked up, Career, social life and personal life. I am exhausted of handling my own mess now. Idk what I am doing with my life. Just waiting for an end to come to get my peace and end this pain and suffocation. 

  Uk there will be people who will make u feel worthless ,will try to kill ur dreams. Besties know in what environment u stay. Dont compare yourself with others. Distance yourself from friends/family/ relatives if ther somehow drain u or deep down uk they aint serving u well. Be kind. Find happiness in every small thing   Like for me? I find happiness in hearing sounds of birds, seeing butterflies, seeing dogs playing happily with their owners etc. Exercise it is very imp. It will keep ur mental health better. Download apps if udk how to start workouts. Drink plenty of water. Take care of ur skin. When in anxiety. Make a dairy write ur shit thoughts. It works srsly.and be kind. Y'all so amazing keep shining  ♡♡

Love

I wanna scream yet I am so uncomfortable to do so...
I wanna scream my heart out yet I still think what others are gonna think about....
I wanna scream and want to make myself free from all the pain..
I wanna scream to heal the little me inside of me
I wanna scream like nobody's watching me
I wanna scream and rage like no tomorrow
I wanna scream so loud that all the demons become silent 
I wanna scream so I can heal the traumas and be myself again 
I wanna scream so that I can love myself again
All I wanna do is scream and nothing less ...

Conflict

How do you end it. Like how can you just make it stop. I wanna switch it all off. I can’t do it anymore. Shit i just got blamed for something i had no control over. Like how many times are you going to do that. How long does he expect me to take it for. How long……….

Depression

 And here's the truth. I've been broken for so long. And I get attached way to fast. I'm lost and l'm scared. I'm scared of everything. The littlest things scare the hell out of me. I'm scared of being happy. Or smiling. Or putting myself out there again. Because every time I do I end up getting hurt. And I have no one.I feel so alone. And thank no one cares. I'm scared to live but 'm scared to die. I hurt every day. Ever when I seem like I don't. I do, I cry to much. And I push people away cause I think that's what I need. I don't know what's good for me. And I don't want to. I don't want to have to be the Boy who's easy or dumb. Or worthless.try soooo hard to be enough and some how I never am.I open up to much. To the point where now I don't ever open up. I lock myself in my room and I hope that someone out there is thinking about me. Even though know no one is. I see all my flaws and think maybe girls see them too. I always go for the girls I know are going to hurt me. And that hurts me to say. I'm always a forgiving person. And I always let people in and open my heart for them to just break it. I am always there when no one is ever there for me. And I never think about myself. Only everyone else. And when I do think about myself I'm selfish. So l'm scared. & I'm am absolutely terrified.




Self Esteem

Hey.....I feel really distressed and terrible. I feel deserted and i have just had me to talk to myself forever. No real person knows what I go through. I just won't open up to anyone about anything...idk why, I just can't. 
I'm just scared that if my very own family 
 can hurt me so much.... whether it's intentional or not, how much could the world hurt me if I opened up. It's just too scary to me. 
I know...I might sound irrelevant and stupid. But if there's anyone out there who can relate and understand even a bit of what's I'm talking about.....then please tell that it'll all be alright. Please! 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts