how do you know when to make a "move" on a person ..i'm always paranoid about the person would think im a creep

Relationships

Hey guys.... I'm new here...!! 
🤓🤓🤓🤓
I wanna make some friends

Friends

I wish people would respond to my last post

Adulting

i have a friend, and she also has a friend. but when said other friend is around, she and the other friend completely ignore my existence.

Hey!

Sending warm hugs to everyone who is going through hell. Just hang in there my fellow empaths, I promise sun will shine. Love and hugs!!

Life

I stay at the beach for as ling as possible every summer. It seems from the outside like I’m “living the dream” but i go to escape my life at home & to avoid my problems - I’m falling apart. I just stopped my antidepressant meds a few months ago cause they just weren’t helping at all. For a while they worked & my suicidal thoughts subsided but they cane back so i concluded that the meds weren’t helping: i chose a countdown app to make my days tolerable by having an end in sight. Although the end date was planned for a couple of years away & to avoid any holidays \ birthdays… so as not to ruin anything (more than ur mother committing suicide) for my teenagers. Ive been trying to get myself out of my thoughts, i deleted the app. Took up some volunteer work, like I said I travelled (that way people don’t see that I have no friends because Im not around) I started renovating my house before I left - i hoped my husband might take some initiative and complete it while I was gone (or at least continue a little) but no. So  I’m back home, laying all day in bed - teenagers are out (thankfully they aren’t aware of how depressed I am) husband is off work today but has spent the day out doing things with his friends, dealing with me is probably annoying for him so I’m happy that he isn’t suffering too. But, ill just continue for now avoiding everyone (not that anyone is trying to contact me) putting on a fake smile whenever I do see anyone (everyone thinks nothing bothers me) I should get out of bed its 16:30 & go to the store to then make dinner but I can’t. Its too much, I should clean my house but it’s too much (its tidy so again nobody can see & my husband & teenagers don’t notice either way) Ive just had enough of life, sometimes I am honest & tell my husband that I don’t see a point in living but he doesn’t or can’t see that I’m not just saying that in a moment of frustration. I just wish something would end this all for me so that I wouldn’t have to put the word suicide into my families story. I wish I could say all this to someone irl but then they would feel obliged to offer some solution \ help or that Im looking for attention but Im not at all I just want out but I have to keep doing this because I don’t want to cause problems for my kids.

Depression

Is it normal if I cant see a girl and  not able to make eye contact, even on the road (stranger girl)..i mean idk why but i keep force myself to not look a girl because i always get freak out and my heart beat increases so fast and i don't want other to think that I'm some kind of perv ...
I was avoiding this question for soo long but i think i can ask here? 
This thing happens with me everytime...i mean just now i barely made out from an accident bcs i was focusing NOT to look at girl who was wearing skirt while everyone was staring at her... I'm not saying i should stare at any girl but the thing is, why I'm the only one who cant do it...for example a stranger if it's a male its just another stranger for me but if that stranger is female....its a "girl" for me... idk how to explain it properly but its actually bothering me everyday , how may i suppose to work with them if I cant even make eye contact with them while they are just stranger.

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