V @az78

How do people make actual friendships and relationships that last long? Currently I’m trying the methods from Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence people”, but I have no idea if they truly work. I’m biased to believe that it’s all dependent on superficiality but I don’t want to be quick to judge. Can anyone here help a brother out?

11 replies

Ye I’m struggling too. But the thing i found out is that people don’t really wants the really you. They like the sugar coated real you more

V @az78

My 2 cents here would be: people don’t like the real you when you’re depressed, negative or toxic. If you’re naturally a happy person, I think people get attracted to you like flies to a light. And that in turn makes you happier.

heyo @fighter453

And I agree that’s kinda fake tho.

V @az78

What’s fake exactly, I couldn’t understand

heyo @fighter453

From my perspective…
I have met people who were exploitative constantly and when I told others like how I was exploited by them…

They were just like oh… I’ll get back to you later…

And when the same person who exploited me was happy and cheerfull everyone ran around him like firefiles.

V @az78

I believe it’s more of whether you create positivity for people or not. Regarding exploitation I would say when practicing influence, be clear about your limits, you’re not there to please someone and if someone is not reciprocating your efforts, you stop giving more and wait for them to respond. If they don’t you move on and keep them on the ‘temporary friends’ list

heyo @fighter453

But where is humanity?
When someone is going through pile of shit atleast you can selflessly do something for someone…

V @az78

Exactly. Most of us are suffering and we see suffering in others, but people rarely have the will to do something for others. They fear as it’s out of their comfort zone and it’s a threat. But the rare ones out of us that do push to help others (but by setting boundaries) always seem to find good friends


People will only like you till you entertain them once you start being real you or react to certain things they will leave. So don’t try to hold on people let them be free if they are meant for you they will be with you

V @az78

True, but that’s when you expect something in return for helping, you don’t necessarily need to be attached to the outcome

heyo @fighter453

Yes. People like happy people.

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