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Profile picture for Now&Me member @shithappens
@shithappens

How can we emotionally connect to someone so reserved?

(Anyways, I wanna apologize for having so many questions these past few days. I have a lot going on in my mind lately and I really need your wisdom so that I may comprehend as to why I’m experiencing these stuffs. Thank you in advance)

Profile picture for Now&Me member @avtar
Profile picture for Now&Me member @banisinghvasir
Profile picture for Now&Me member @shithappens
9 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @avtar

Avtar @avtar

By full fill his her wishes and be obedient and loyal for them.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shithappens
@shithappens

I did all that. But I’m in friend zone.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @avtar

Avtar @avtar

Instead of impressing him focus on your own and let them do whatever he wants to do you will never ever force anyone to fall in love with you if yes then that relationships will only some time of period.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shithappens
@shithappens

Time to move on 😞
Thank you.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @banisinghvasir

Bani Singh @banisinghvasir

Hey there @shithappens!
Please don’t apologise for asking!! We’re all here for you.

Usually, connecting with someone who is reserved, or holds back, takes time and patience and persistent effort. And when I say persistent effort I don’t mean it in an annoying way. Because reserved people do like their space and will open up to you if they feel that you’re not being pushy. So, just being there for them, listening to them, giving them time to open up, picking up on cues, what they like, what they don’t like…that should be able to help build a better bond!

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shithappens
@shithappens

Thank you so much. I do appreciate your advice. I’ll do what you’ve said. Somehow, I feel that we already have an emotional connection because we share each other’s deepest personal secrets that we never shared to other people. I also experience opening up to him via call and I was so freakin vulnerable that time. But he’s still somehow reserved because that he’s attitude even before meeting him. That’s why I’m so thankful when he told me he trust me 101%. We have so many things in common. And I love him but he just sees me as a special friend. Yeah he told me I’m special for him and he said we were so few he considered special, but I’m just a special FRIEND. I’ve been in love with him for 2 years and I’m trying to move on but I’m so emotionally attached to him I can’t get rid of my feelings.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @banisinghvasir

Bani Singh @banisinghvasir

Aww, I can understand how that must be like. But I’m sure since you love him, you must be valuing your friendship a lot too!
The fact is reserved people remain reserved even if they trust you. And that is just because it is in their nature, and they never really become people who share a lot. Maybe the difference is that if they trust you, they tell you more than they would tell any other person.
But yes, as for being stuck in the friend zone, there really is no one solution to that! Maybe you have to be patient or maybe you have to move on, it totally depends upon your situation, and how healthy it is for you to be in that situation. Because you should not keep waiting till a point that it starts to hurt and affect your happiness :(

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shithappens
@shithappens

I’m so glad I talked to you. You really get it, you really do understand my situation. I’ll continue to love him genuinely by supporting him, understanding him, making him happy, being there for him always, by doing my very best for his sake without any expectations. Truth be told, I wanted him to fall in love with me, but I’ll do my best to settle for the things that he can offer. So if it’s just friendship, I’ll do my best to be contented. (It’s hard but possible) And I don’t want to force anything to him, that will make him sad or worse hate me, and I don’t want that. His happiness is far more important than mine, I think I just love him that deep.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @banisinghvasir

Bani Singh @banisinghvasir

I’m so glad I could help! I could tell that the love you have for him is very genuine and pure and that you would even be content to just be friends with that person!!! Hope it works out for you, and even if not, I hope you always share a beautiful friendship!!

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