How am I feeling today? I don’t know where to start. Maybe with the fact that I had a breakdown due to the stress of school. Transitioning to online classes was tough. I was stressed before but now my head feels like it’s about to explode. I’ve been crying a lot lately and I want to reach out to someone but I don’t know how. How can I tell my mother that my face is blotchy from crying and not from that moisturiser that irritates my face? How can I tell my father I want to drop out because my stress is so high that I’m losing hair when he thinks I’m excelling in my classes? How do I tell my parents that I’m not straight when they start LGBTQ+ conversations by saying ‘I have a lesbian friend so I’m not homophobic’? I am close with my parents but there’s so many things we disagree on especially when it comes to problems in society, including mental health and sexuality. I try to educate them but it falls on deaf ears. They don’t understand that my passion for these problems is my way of reaching out, so I don’t know what to do.
I won’t say that I can imagine what you are going through. Because I can’t. What you are feeling and going through right now, no one should. So first of all let me say , I don’t even know you, but I love you. I don’t even know you, but I care about you and there are plenty of other people that loves you.
The very fact that, you have posted here and reached out for help, already shows how courageous and amazing you are.
Like you a lot of students are going through huge amounts of stress by transitioning online and school. You have to understand that you are not alone. You had the courage to speak out, but imagine for every person like you there are 10 of them who still have kept their thoughts buried inside them. Tough situations do not last sweetheart, but tough people do. Just imagine how inspirational it will be for those people when all these ends, someone like you comes out on the other side battling and winning over her stress and worry, victorious. Imagine how many students you will be helping without even directly reaching out to them. You are more stronger than you think. A lot more.
You have to accept the fact that you and your parents come from different generations. And not only yours, but majority of parents disagree on our views. But that is okay. Don’t we disagree with them sometimes? Yes, they might not like your views, they might not initially accept the fact that you are not straight. But dear, always remember. They are your mother and father. And no matter what, they will always love you. They have worked very hard to give you the life that you want. So it is understandable that they might frown when your views on life may not allign with theirs. But you know what? Neither did theirs and your grandparents. They might be angry, sad with you for one day, 10 days, 100 days. But they will always come back to accept you. Trust me. Because at the end of the day, no parents wants their kids to be unhappy.
One day or the other your words won’t fall on deaf years. You just gotta believe in yourself and keep pushing.
And one last thing, please don’t cry more than you need to. That beautiful face was made for a pretty smile to bring happiness. Spread happiness sweetheart. You were born for that.
Lots of love <3