How am I feeling? I’m feeling broken and alone. It seems nobody really care about me. But why does I have to think about it?
I have a history when it comes to relationship. I know everyone says one broken relationship doesn’t define you. But a broken relationship can make you feel lonely more than when you were single.
I sometimes ask God, why me? Why everywhere I see is happiness , laughter , joy and love but it can’t be in my life? I don’t want many relationships or boyfriends(which people of this century called it), but why every bad thing has to come in my life?
There was this guy I was in relationship with. That was long back about 5 years ago. He cheated on me and now he is very happy and getting married. And me? I am just lost and unhappy not because that I want a relationship (I didn’t had any BF after him, he was my first BF) or because that guy is happy but there’s something wrong with me. I have become more negative in my life , lost self confidence, lost interest in everything including my life. I feel like if I have so many flaws when even God created me? Why am I living this life? I don’t want a perfect life, but atleast a caring and loving one.
Things are also not so great in my family. My parents keep on fighting. We hardly talk to each other. And thanks to this pandemic I can’t even go out. So has to stay in my room with my parents.
Usually, things are like when situation is not good at your home, you have friends or someone you can share things with. I don’t have either of them. Like I told you before, nobody wants me.
I’m sorry if this feels more depressing but this is what I’m going through right now.
And still I believe things will be okay. But the difference is now I don’t care about anything.
I have been in the situation and I don’t know what to say to you still.
First of all please please please Forgive yourself and him and the situation and the breakup.
It was noone’s fault and everyone’s choice.
Understand taht your upset, sadness, anger and frustration is not for him but cos you don’t have a partner in life. Or something more meaningful.
Sit with yourself, take a pen and paper and write down all the things you want in your life no matter how trivial or impossible they maybe. Just write them. Whatever you want in your life in every area of your life.
Then write down what you do in your day everyday.
When you have done this, compare your actions to your wants. And see if there is any difference in the two then what and how can you align your actions and thoughts towards what you want.
Just be kind to yourself in the process. And take your time. It’s your life and don’t define it by what others say.
Thank you I am seriously going to try this. Because every time I think of doing something but I don’t do bec of sone reason or I lose interest.
But I’m gonna do this. Thanks :)
