Ludens @reverseghost
Horrible… I feel like I’m in such a helpless situation. After about a decade making my way in life (was not a smooth time) I got dxed with PTSD a couple years ago and made arrangements with my parents because I needed a place to take things easy, which we all agreed to. My mother doesn’t know anything because she has the personality of a child. Now in therapy we’ve pretty much uncovered that I never was safe around them to begin with.
My parents have taken everything from me in life and profitted off me while I suffered lasting harm as a child, and I have no one else to rely on. The negative bitterness and emotions I have towards them are beyond words. I feel like my life is completely ruined. I’m already in my 30s.
Ludens @reverseghost
I DO NOT want to adopt a victim mentality here. I got out once by reaching myself software engineering and working 50 hour weeks at a medical startup with no prior experience and learning Mandarin.
But it seems like it didn’t matter. Cant hold a tech job if you cant maintain good concentration and focus 40 hours a week.
All I want to do is forget my own history and make my own way. I’ve made some progress but when 90% of your energy is reserved for self preservation…and I’ve already been trapped here for 2 years… It’s so bleak you can’t imagine how it feels
Yeaaah, parents are a lot responsible about what we become, that’s tough
And you can never stop discovering how life would be so much easyer if you only had good parenting
I can relate (I’m angry all of the time)
And it’s normal to be angry, and yeah, it is not adopting a victim mentality but seeing with clear mind
It is to late anyway so the only thing is to reconstruct one self
A good point is there’s a lot to learn, you’ll never get bored
Yay
