Hiii everyone .
The thing is since the childhood my mother took care of me .I literally depend on her for everything she struggled so much and my father was a jobless man .My mother sacrificed a lot so that I can study better .There was no family support not from my Father’s side and my mother’s side .She did it alone all by herself .As I graduated college I became more independent and I was like I can do things alone without my mother’s support and I do not want to depend on her for every thing .She loves me so much .My siblings and me is all she have in her life .I also love her but as I grew up I want to become more independent ,I don’t want to depend on my mother .I want to do things on my own. But recently my mother decided that we should all live together now I’m confused because I don’t want to live with family I want to explore myself and want to become capable of my own but my mother wishes to be together with us and I can not say no to her she did so much for me .How can I tell her I want to live alone and become financially independent .She will not understand this as she loves her so much that it kinds of scare me that am I too selfish to think like that .it feels like I’m abandoning her .Also as I become more independent it feels like I’m not a family person .I love my family and all but I want my separate life too this anxiety just makes me feel bad what should I do ? Does that make me a bad person because she suffered alot I don’t want to hurt her .
Hello. I personally feel that you are not doing wrong or being selfish in this. I think somewhere inside your mother knows that someday she will have to let you go, it’s just that she is not able to accept it right now. Why don’t you try explaining her this once and try to tell her point by point why you want to live alone and it’s not you abandoning her?
Maybe she is just scared to lose support from your end like the way she didn’t get support from her family. You can probably try and make her feel secure that even after you live independently, you will still always be there for her and will support her.
Thank you so much:)
