hi..
Why do some thoughts always push their way through...why cant it just leave.Past is past but mind never seems to accept. How do u pass through it?

Life

I have a roommate & last month I m not feeling good with her like I am very irritated.. In my opinion she thinks I m dumb so use me as much as she can (she is older than me so i am kind of obedient to her) from starting only she makes me do work & she left me alone in friend circle.. Yesterday also she took groceries & told me "u pay for that, I'll pay u later" & it's not the first time... I m hearing this from months now.. & she never pays back.. 
I am not saying she is totally bad but now I m not able to see any good in her.. She always pretends she is best, she cares for everyone but she don't.. She is fake.. Yesterday night only she said let's go to eat icecream, & she told our landlord that i will bring u icecream too.. We went #i payed for that & she took icecream from my hand in middle of road & when we reached she gave icecream to landl like she bought for them(faking her generosity).. I asked for money bcz I didn't want to eat icecream she wanted that & she said I'll pay u.. Bloody when is she going to pay me back?.. Same goes for everything her payment app doesn't work everytime with me only.. At first yes I was dumb I accept.. But now I want her to leave.. Bcz she is leaving with me for free.. 

Emotional Abuse

It's easy to feel hopeful on a beautiful day like today, but there will be dark days ahead of ypu, too. There will be days when you feel alone, and that is when hope is needed most. No matter how buried it gets or how lost you feel, you must promise me that you will hold onto hope. Keep it alive. We have to be greater than what we suffer. My wish for you is to become hope - people need that. And even if you fail, what better way is there to live? As we look around here today, at all the people who helped make us who we are, I know it feels like we are saying goodbye, but we will carry a piece of each other into everything that we do next, to remind us of who we are and who we are meant to be.

Affirmations

Anxious
Sometimes I think or imagine that what will I say when we talk ( we don't talk each other last time we talk on 25 ) and how I can open my heart front of her and actually always thought she gonna listen me and help me but most of times she talk about other things or her problems and maybe she don't wanna spend her time on my little stories or maybe in our relationship she dominated every situations don't know about thing it is long time since when someone hear me very well and I hope she never call me so we can stay away to each other and remain wellwisher of each other let's see what happens in future 🙂

Anxiety

hi anyone wanna talk im bored?

3am Thoughts

Just now i gave a very possitive and motivating lecture to my sibling. But deep down i am bote myself....
I cannot show to them how weak i am and how many problems i have at the moment to deal with... 

I feel depressed and confused.  A guy I've been friends w and rekindled our relationship 3 yrs ago blocked me 7 months ago bc he got a random girl pregnant. So it went to texting everyday and seeing him off and on in person (he lives 3 hrs away) to being blocked bc i blew up at him. It killed me. He called me yesterday and talked for an hour to chat about his issues w life oh and to tell me that during this summer he started dating his neighbor and its the only good thing that came out of 2020. I was speechless and he tells me he missed our friendship and he feels like we could tell each each other anything and doesn't want to change that. I told him to basically f off. But it hurts so bad. In April he told me he loved me and we were in constant communication and now this??? Why would he call to tell me this crap and then he got mad when I told him to f off. I'm so upset and I think about him so much. Any men out there that can help me with this? Why did he all of a sudden call to talk like we used to and then say oh BTW my new gf is great but I really miss our friendship and how can u just walk away from it?   I'm so confused!

Relationships

I feel broken. I lost my father a week back. He had been ill for the last 10 months but was getting better, last 5 days before his passing he was in the hospital and his health kept deteriorating. He suffered a heart attack and couldn't survive. He was my life, the only one who mattered. My mother died 10 years back. I was the one my father shared everything with. I didn't imagine my life without him. I don't even know how to do this. I don't know so many things. Why should I even live, everyone leaves, I'll leave one day too, how does this matter. Why should I live like this, suffering and crying, I keep getting reminded of some memory with him and I break down. I don't think I've completely realised it yet, the extent of it. I'm really anxious, more than normal. I just want to shut down. I feel like closing myself from everyone else. Everyone tells me I'm really strong but I'm not, I feel weak, more than I have ever felt. I feel I'm wasting my life and I'm useless, I don't feel like doing anything, I try to watch something to pass my time or do some online course but I can't get myself to do it. There have been so many deaths in my family, it angers me sometimes. My grandfather died too 3 years back. I hate that life goes on, everyone in my family is moving forward. I feel numb at times. I'm sitting with people, I may be talking, laughing too at jokes but I don't feel anything.
I don't know how to move forward, how to deal with this. I don't have anyone left. I did have suicidal thoughts on the day he died but I promised him that I'll try my best to survive. I'm not sure if I would be able to do that. I may just shut myself and immerse myself into this abyss of sadness.

Mental Health

Is it okay for my boyfriend to keep his hands on other girls waist? :)

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts