Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Hi this is kinda new to me and feels a lil weird to share but i genuinely have no one else to share it w last year was very hard on me i fought and lost my bestfriend of many years and it changed my life completely and i saw that time which people were actually my friends and who were just w me because of her it’s been awhile now she’s changed but i still see her all the time because it’s our last school year so we’re friends when i had a fall out w her i got really close to a friend in our friend group who i didn’t know how good friends we would be but we had a minor fight and the first person she went to was my ex bff she went and bitched abt me to the friend group and i saw her and she went to a cafe specifically to talk shit abt me w my ex bff and came back w and told me that I’m obnoxious and a few others things and i was genuinely hurt that she has such a bad image abt me but i thought abt it and the next day i told her yes a little of this i agree w u and i will improve as a person because I’ve already delt w one person leaving me i didn’t want another to but now i realised that she’s not really there for me and she only became friends w me becuz she pities me and she always makes me feel insignificant when she’s w her bff ik I’m probably the problem but i always might be like tough or sm but I genuinely care abt people i just realised that I’m no one’s first choice or that anyone would stand up for me i just needed to rant because I’m upset.