Hi lol, this is my first time here. I am here because rn I’m having some friendship issues, and because I tend to keep things to myself, I didn’t talk to anyone about this. So here goes nothing lol. What happened was I moved to a new school and made some friends. There aren’t a lot of “groups” in this school because its a private school and there are only like 30 people per grade. I have a bunch of friends, which I will be giving fake names to help makes it more clear. So one “group” of friends that I hang out with is made up of me, Selena, Rachel, and Haylee. Then there are other people I’m friends with, and well call them Stephanie and Carol (carol is everybody else I’m friends with that are not as relevant to the story). So basically, I don’t like hanging out with the “group” because they gossip a lot, and when they get mad at someone, they will talk about them behind their backs. Recently Haylee came to me and told me how she doesn’t like hanging out with them as well, and she told me how they (Selena and Rachel) had gotten mad because I went to a party they were not invited to, and they thought I should have told them before going. I thought that was pretty dumb since I can make my own decisions, and they shouldn’t have to approve of them because its not their decision to make. She also told me how they hate it when Haylee or I sit next to other people because apparently to them, that means that were tryhards and we want attention. The thing is when Haylee told me this, she started opening up to me and telling me her feelings, and I felt like we had a connection, and I was really happy that I wasn’t the only one who doesn’t like hanging out with them. Another reason I was happy was that at the beginning of the year, Haylee and Stephanie were friends since we were both new to this school. However, at the beginning of the year, I always felt like crap every day because it seemed to me as Haylee and Stephanie were bonding without me. I was always the one who would walk alone when the hall or road narrowed, They would always walk beside each other and talk, and I felt excluded because whenever I tried to join the conversation, they would sometimes not even respond. When Haylee opened up to me, I thought that that meant we were best friends and that she had always thought of me that way. Soon though, I began to feel the same thing that happened at the beginning of the year was happening again. Little note is that Haylee and Stephanie did start to drift apart a little but not so much. They soon became best friends again, and I was happy and all, but they seem to be doing the same stuff over and over again. And today, I wanted to sit in between them so that I can talk with both of them, but they both wanted to sit together and kept whining about it, so I had to sit beside all excluded and everything. I tried to get in their conversation, but I can’t when they have their backs turned to me and when they don’t seem to be listening at all. I’ll make jokes about feeling excluded sometimes as a way to hint them kind of and as a way to make them laugh, but all they do is say “awww no it’s not like that” and continue talking with each other, without me, like nothing ever happened. This makes me feel like crap and like I’m not a good friend. It hurts me, but I don’t want to say anything to them because I feel like I sound clingy and like a drama queen, and so I don’t know what to do. Pls tell me if I’m overreacting I’m not sure if I am and I don’t want to end up opening up to them then being called a drama queen.
Hi!First things first, you are NOT overreacting at ALL!!! School life can be a bit of a pain because everyone is a little immature. And I say that out of experience, now that I’m much older.
People form “cliques” and think they’re better than everybody else, and everyone just wants to get along with the popular ones and do things to please them. In conclusion, if there is anything I’ve learnt from feeling the same way as you do now, (same as I did many many years back), is that basic human nature is the same. Ultimately, I started bonding with other people who did not care much about popularity but valued the friendships truly and honestly. Those are the few people I remained in touch with even after school ended, literally just 2-3 people remained after the HUGE group we used to be a part of. And I so cherish that bond, because I realised that friends are not supposed to make you feel bad or worse. They’re supposed to rather make you feel at ease or feel good. TL;DR - Devote your time to those “friends” who are ACTUAL friends and not just people from the same group you hang out with. There is no harm in branching out and meeting other people if those other people reciprocate your efforts and friendship. It is negative to constantly hear be nagged about one’s decisions. The whole point of school is to meet and interact with new people. Don’t let other people control your life. They’re not worth it. And if worse comes to worst, they’ll stop being friends with you. And honestly, then you’ll know that they were never really your friends, to begin with, but in fact, just wanted you to be a group member. LIVE YOUR LIFE FREELY, BREAKAWAY FROM SUCH TOXIC PEOPLE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL ANY LESS ❤️
Hello! Oh and you are definitely not overreacting at all! School is hard! Especially Middle school and High school and I’m going through High school right now.
This same incident happened to me in Middle school! Where there were groups, gossiping, talking behind backs, making people feel bad and acting like some people are better than others. Lets start one by one
Groups were basically the reason behind every fight a girl has or had in school. During a fight there were sides and if you chose the wrong side it led to the next problems. When someone does something that the opposing person does not like, they want revenge! The only way to prevent this is to not be involved. If you do get involved somehow, slip your way out by saying “excuse me, I am a human as well and I do not have any choice to stay is this business” and simple you are not involved. Gossiping happens a lot! I’ve gone through all of this and this entire text is based on my life. Gossiping is a way one persons talk can go all the way to another persons texts. My friends have done the same. When gossip starts, your bestie can become your enemy. I told my bestie so many secrets and 2 days after our fight, after she apologized, the school clown knew my secrets. I shouldn’t have trusted her but she was my bestie for 5 years in a row! This definitely made me feel bad! I felt crappy and upset. She made it worse by a misunderstanding. I said Julica ( a girl in my French class/ name changed for privacy) had bailed on our project and she thought I was talking about her! She did not talk to me for a straight 2 weeks! I hated her for it and I didn’t wanna be her friend anymore but after I thought I should tell her it was a misunderstanding after all. I was scared but she later understood. She forgave me and we were good for about 5 weeks