Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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⚕️Depression

🧑Anxiety

😰Stress

💗Relationships

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Anonymous

Hi. I’m turning 25 this year. I started my first job after my post grad last year. Corporate life is very frustrating and draining. I used to feel I cannot take it. I still do sometimes and wonder about alternate careers. But atleast now I’m getting more used to it. I have never been in a relationship before. And I have no girl in my life at all these days. All my friends are either dating or married or preparing to get married. At such a stage in life, I have tensions mounting and I feel I will never find a girl. I used to be hopeful in my college days and felt optimistic everytime I met a new girl. But everytime I asked anyone out, I only got rejection. As a result I just gave up on it entirely and started focussing only on my career and fitness. Now I’ve become so hopeless that I refuse if any friend of mine tries to set me up on a date with someone. I try tinder occasionally but I uninstall the app every time I get a match. Which is also very rare and online matchmaking only reduces my confidence further so I never use it. I get angry every time I see anything related to couples or romance in songs/movies or shows. I feel like I’ll be alone all my life. I’m not someone who can confide in friends. I have spent my life only on my interests like art and fitness and never bonded too deeply with any friend. As a result, I feel I have no friend when I want to talk to someone. I believe I’ll spend the rest of my life like this, entirely on my own. I don’t know what to do.

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3 replies
@kusum

Hi,
Thank you so much for sharing n opening up…
Each individual is unique and so are you…
See in life it is very imp what do u exactly want
From ur post i feel
U are looking out for some serious kind of relation or some companionship in life…
U know some of us remain single till our late twenties n this mostly happens because we are more emotional
More sentimental ppl
So the casual ones donot want to get involved with us…
Yes there is too much of couplegiri going on all around us
Media social media etc etc songs movies novels all flooded
With lovey dovey couples
N yes all this is damn frustrating…
But then lets not give up hope…
Whatever u are feeling is very obvious
Very normal
N the surroundings are making u feel more worse
I can sense u have developed some inferiority complex…
Let me tell u
U are a wonderful person
U are spl in your own way
Trust urself n the universe
U too will find the right person at the right time
Till then keep focusing on ur career
Keep looking after urself…
N whenever u connect to someone who is like-minded u will automatically open up
N bond well
The reason you havenot bonded with anyone much is that unfortunately u havenot come across the right kind of ppl in ur life…
Ur instincts are strong
Emotional connect happens instinctively…
Trust me
All will be fine
U will set everything fine
It is never too late
Patience always gets u sweet fruits…
God bless you
May u cross path with ur lady love very very soon
N get all the happiness n love u deserve
Most beautiful relations in life get formed naturally
We dnt need to chase it.
It happens spontaneously in an unplanned manner…

Take care
Good luck
God bless

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Anonymous

Hi Kusum. Thanks for your response. I’m hoping you are right about everything. And you’re correct, maybe I have developed an inferiority complex. I have never received much positive attention or external validation from anyone. So all I do in life is try to be better and improve myself without knowing where to stop or be at peace in life and I remain restless. I’ve still lost faith in anything good ever happening to me. Although, if you’ve asked me to keep patience, then I’m hoping you would know better than me even if I don’t believe it. So, I’ll wait for some positivity in life. As hard as it may seem.

@kusum

You know sometimes life just keeps on troubling u from all four sides n absolutely nothing seems to go the way we wanted it to go…
It is like each one of us set some expectations
Like when u are in college
Studying u will expect that on graduating u will get placed…
You will earn decent
You will fall in love
Get married at normal marriageable age etc etc
But some ppl like u have a little unique life
Not he boring usual one
A little more bumpy ride
Roller coaster ride
Some get everything on time
While others get it late but that is more beautiful n precious
Life is taking ur exam
N from your words i can easily make out the exam is going on longer than expected
But then u are someone who will not leave the exam midway…

N it is very human to seek validation from others
But that too usually doesnot happen
Ppl arenot that considerate n generous to appreciate someone…
N sometimes we keep going that extra mile in the pursuit of that validation…

This will only trouble u…

So u just give ur best shot to everything
Be happy with ur efforts
N never expect it to be acknowledged by others…

All this is very very easy to write…
Practicing is difficult…
It requires courage…
But writing it to u from very personal experience…

I too have two choices in life
1.keep getting upset about whats not going my way…
(That is miserable)
Or
2.Be happy n accept what is going on…

Just GO WITH THE FLOW…

GOOD LUCK.
Take care

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