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Hi. I’m Sarai. I’ve been in a 9 month relationship with my ex. We lost our baby three months ago Everything was fine up until the pandemic and his depression kicked in and words were said on my end which were bad and we broke up in April. Those weeks I was working on myself, reading books about self care, better yourself in relationships etc. I started feeling good. Then mid May he reached out surprisingly after blocking my number. He said he hates how things ended and is sorry for everything. We continued to talk not daily but every now and then. He even reached out to my family and said he misses them. Last weekend he called me asking to hang out yesterday and I said maybe then we just talked and stuff and he asked how do I feel about us getting back together and I said I want things to be better and he said definitely. And today I met with him and he said he doesn’t want to rush into things, he wants to start over. And I felt confused.

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3 replies
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Bani Singh @banisinghvasir

Hi Sarai,
Maybe this isn’t my place, but you two really seem to have been through a lot. And I’m sure that took a toll on your relationship. I’m extremely sorry for your loss. Maybe this is very terrible of me to even suggest, but you two have each other. You’ve been through something major together. So, it will require a lot of effort and active communication to understand how this has affected both of you and how you would like to proceed forward. Not rushing into things might just be a great idea, but if you feel differently, then try to tell him why. Be open. This is almost like starting over, in a way, or if that’s what he wants to call it. You can let him know what confuses you, or how it has been for you.

It may be difficult to move past what happened, or the things that were said. But if it works, it’ll only make your bond stronger. So, just try your best to make it work if you want to. Don’t leave room for any regret. Confusion is okay, not knowing what to do, say, feel is okay. Ultimately, it all comes down to whether he is the one you’d rather be talking to or not. And don’t forget to allow yourself space too. Feel free to arrive at the decisions that make sense to you, there are no rights or wrongs in this, and don’t especially feel the need to succumb to anything anyone else tells you to do right now. Try to breathe, and let things flow 🌊


Thank you! I do love him a lot but idk… I do want things to be different and to change for the better but the communication and commitment has to be there. I reached out to him yesterday and he didn’t respond so I messaged today saying he’s welcomed to stop by since he wanted to previously but if he doesn’t respond I’ll just block his number

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Bani Singh @banisinghvasir

That’s understandable. You can only push yourself till a certain point.


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