Hi I’m new here, joined now&me to talk and pour my heart out because nobody listens nowadays. Everyone is so selfish they just want to get their things done and only reach out to you when they need something. I’ve lost almost all of my friends because I simply can’t be with toxic people. People have stopped talking to me because of me being a feminist (they have no knowledge about Feminism and think that it’s just for Feminism means superiority of women above men). I’m left with no one. I even made new friend who was dealing with the same thing but he was so toxic that he didn’t care about other people’s mental health and was rude to me. And one day he blocked me for no reason. Earlier I wasn’t this person at all. I was confident. But after all this I’ve literally lost all of it. My parents are partial between me and my brother and it kills me sometimes. I’m not in a position to make them understand what’s wrong and what’s right. I just want to make good friends.
You appear to be very young and can be friends with anyone you want. Find a proper way to converse with your parents and things fall per planned.
Sometimes you also gotta decide if you want to keep your old friends or not.
You’re still very confident, alright!
Hi, I understand what you are feeling. I kind of go through the same thing that just because I say something about feminism, everyone just disregards it because they don’t really know what it means. My friend blocked me too recently because he thought I was wrong…but in reality he was the toxic one.
What I learnt was that FUCK IT. It’s their loss and I have myself and that’ enough. You can come and share here, make new friends here. We’re there to listen to you…
I live in a small city called bhilai which is in chhattisgarh. People are not at all open minded here. I’ve made virtual friends but still I’m not close to them that I can share my problems with them. I’m an extrovert I love to talk to people,hangout with them,etc. And since all of this is happening rn it feels like I’m just existing,not living at all.
I can understand that it must feel very closed and boxed when no on in your city understands you…Can you try getting comfortable with those virtual friend of yours? I remember a few years back I made 2-3 online friend via Twitter…and i was closer to them even more than people who were near me. I was able to share anything with them and they became like my family. Why don’t you try that ?
I was once very idealistic about an idea. I must have been 15 / 16 and started reading up on Wicca. It made more sense to me than Christianity (it was very prevalent in the area I lived). I’d argue with people until I was angry and blue in the face until someone pointed out to me that regardless of how passionate I was about the subject, I was the one in the wrong because I was trying to force my views on other people and that was wrong. By the time I was 18 / 19 years old, I was ostracised by the people I went to University with. Most of them were very Christian and it cost me my education, the ability to socialise with my peers - I was failed out of classes because my idea did not sit well with the rest of that small society.
I realised then how wrong I was. Although I had never tried to argue my views against that small society, I couldn’t change their mind to be more open and to remove that choice from them would be wrong and I remember that moment when I was younger, being told that I was wrong for being so argumentative.
It financially and emotionally cost me a lot. Most of the people in my life before university had left to live their lives; not knowing how much I was suffering. I’d already been through quite a bit of trauma through out my life (that I had never spoken out about) so this, took me over the edge. I had stayed depressed for five years. I’d cry from when I woke up to when I went to bed and after awhile, I couldn’t explain to someone else, why I felt so horrible.
I’m seeing comments on here using the word “toxic” to label people and that is not right. Toxic is having a family member only speak to you to ask for money. Toxic is someone belittling you for things about yourself that you cannot change. A “toxic” person is someone who is also in pain but either forgot to why they are hurting or are too scared to talk about it. I was once toxic or at least I felt that way. I couldn’t prevent a child’s death when I was a teenager and was angry at myself and the world for it. I pushed people away, I insulted people and when people told me I was a “good person” or that I had a “good heart” I felt like a fraud.
I realised later in life that the most difficult thing to come to terms with is acceptance.
Not everyone is going to be of like mind as yourself and that is okay. No one will be the same as you because you are your own person. If you feel that you cannot continue to have someone in your life, then don’t. Carry on and work on improving your life, to love yourself so you can love others to show love to others and maybe along the way, you’ll find people who will do the same for you.