Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Hi. Im going to talk about my life now.

So im only in middle school but I feel like Ive been through a lot mentally and socially.

Lets start here: I feel like I allow myself to grow close to a person only for them to end up leaving my life forever. This has happened to me many times over the years.
In fourth grade, one of my two friends moved away and the other moved schools.
In fifth grade, my best friend moved.
In sixth grade, another best friend move.
And now, in seventh grade, the people that i have the tightest bond with might leave me forever. They are more important to me than my family is and I dont know what to do. I know that one is moving to France soon, and its tearing me up because shes taught me so much in the past Nine months and completley changed my view on everything. Now, my closest friend ive ever had might leave my life. I feel like I want to kill myself I cant keep doing this to myself. I cant let myself form bonds with people because they will no doubt leave. The way I look at it is if you never get your hopes up, youll never get dissapointed.