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paisleygirl
@paisleygirl

Hi! I’m friendly, outgoing, forgiving, caring, and most people know me as having an optimistic attitude. But my optimism isn’t always real. I’m just really good about not letting anyone see my sadness and insecurities. I rarely share my true feelings for fear of being hurt. I’ve been looking for something like this just to get out my thoughts, anxiety, stress and my overall feelings of feeling lost and lonely. I have friends and a large family but no one i trust to not make me feel worse than i do or gossip about the things I’m going through. They are judgmental and would think less of me if i shared these things. There are parts of my life they know nothing about and could never understand. I have been through so many things and I’m a great listener, non judgmental and understanding for anyone that needs me. I know how it feels to be lonely even when surrounded by people.

5 Comments
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Anonymous

Hi! I know what you’re going through. I’ve been in this situation way too many times and even though I haven’t completely figured out how not to bottle my feelings I really think that writing you’re thoughts or situations helps. If you’re not comfortable talking to your friends or family that’s understandable. To me, writing it down is, in some way, just like saying it out loud to another person.

paisleygirl
@paisleygirl

writing things helps me too. But it doesnt help how alone i feel. Like no one in the world knows how i feel or understands what im going through. If i talked to the actual people in my life they would gasp and say what are you thinking? Why dont you do this or stop doing that or whatever, that isnt what i want. Ya know?

Anonymous

Hi again! I know what you mean. If I’m being realistic, I haven’t found a way to feel less alone either. I really wish I had some amazing advice that could help you through this. “I know how it feels to be lonely even when surrounded by people” I get it. Sometimes it’s even worse than feeling lonely with no one by your side. All I can say is that these feelings are a fraction of your life. In the best case they won’t even cross your mind in 5 years. Hopefully by then you have found people who you can talk to without feeling judged and who understand you well enough to help you through it

paisleygirl
@paisleygirl

Doesnt it just suck? Are u like me and listen to everyone else’s issues and talk to them with empathy and all of the lessons you’ve learned in life? But when you need that there is no one for you? When i was a teenager around 17 i was so in love with my very first bf for almost 3 years and when he broke up with me I thought i was going to die. I have never felt pain like that since until the last 2 years. I knew he would be trouble but i ignored that feeling. Things were good for about 6 months and then without warning he ghosted me for a week and then told me he had been with his ex but i took him back. It wasnt long before he left again and i was moving on but my heart was hurting so much. After a month he showed up again but he had a new gf and i had someone too. It didn’t matter because we kept hooking up a couple of times a week. All this time ive been doing this thinking this had to be more than just sex. But nothing has changed and i just keep feeling sadder and more guilty for betraying the trust of the other people in our lives. But i cant stand the thought of not having him in my life. And he keeps coming back even when we say we’re done. I think it might finally be over and my head says it should be but my heart feels like it did so long ago. I think that pain scarred me and i never let anyone else in that could because i always left before they could hurt me. It finally caught up to me and i feel like a fool and horrible for cheating on a man that has never hurt me to be with a man that continually does. I just feel so lost and unworthy idk maybe I only want him because i can’t really have him. I think i just wrote a book. And i barely scratched the surface.😪

l
@lndylln

I am exactly like you in the sense that I’m always there for people but they’re not really there for me. I’m glad you told me about what you’re going through. It’s like I said before, sometimes the lonely feeling just get to you and you cant take it anymore so you try to fill Thebes space with something else, in your case it’s that guy. I have a friend who is going through something similar to you. Her head keeps telling her to move on but her heart doesn’t want to let go of the guy who happens to Ben her first love. If you need to go deeper than scratching the surface I’ll be here to listen.