Hi,
I recently broke up with my gf. I believed she was cheating on me and I never felt respected. She was always secretive for example, in the 2 years that we dated I had never even seen the home wallpaper of her iphone. She would always be talking to her ex saying that they have a special bond. She never showed any affection outside the bedroom(she was very loving and caring when we were alone but still secretive and shady about her iphone).
1 year into this and I had to move to a different city for work( her ex also lived there). I wanted her to visit me but everytime she would say that it is impossible for her to come and everytime I had to travel to her city. Fast forward 1.5 years and it was my birthday she wished me around 10pm and went to sleep. I mean it’s not a big deal. But a month later, it was her ex’s birthday. She came to that city to surprise him. We had a huge fight but like everytime I ended up saying sorry.She said that it was a surprise for me as well. She spent the whole day with her ex. She only met me at 2 in the morning and I dropped her off at the airport.
All this led me to breakup with her. Now, she is back with her ex. The thing that hurts the most is that she has moved on so fast and I am the one who is still stuck and in love with her. She acts like I am the villain in this story. When I tell her how can she move on so fast, she says I am the one who broke up with her …what do I want. She says that she is finally happy now and i am being toxic. She says she still wants to be friends.
Now was I crazy to have broken up with her? Was I paranoid? Am I actually the villain in this story?
How long wil it take to move on from her? It’s been 2 month and it keeps getting worse. I can’t sleep, I can’t work. All I think about is her.
I feel like i was just a fling for her. She was still in love with her ex . That’s why she they got together as soon as we broke up. But if I was just a fling why say I love you to me?
Please help me. Tell me I am not being paranoid.
You are not being paranoid love. You did it right way. One more you have to do is stop talking and block her from your social media so that you cannot see or hear about her life.
You will heal faster if you can do this otherwise the sadness will eat you away. Please love yourself and get over her as soon as possible.
Lots of love and hugs to you.
Thank you for this. I have blocked her from all social media and deleted her number but we have the same friend circle(we are from the same college). She is in the city where my office is, where all my friends are, where my whole life is( i am at my hometown because of work from home). I want to go back there but I know our paths are bound to cross because we have the same friend circle if I go there. So I am stuck between avoiding her and enjoying my life. I am 25 and i am stuck here at home when I see everyone is enjoying their life including her. I cry almost everyday. I wish that there was a pill that we could take to move on. I just want to move on so that even if our paths cross, even if I see her being intimate with another person I am not affected. I just want to live my life. It’s been two months since the breakup and 23 days since I last talked to her. People tell me that time will heal everything but it seems to be getting worse. I don’t have the mental strength to start dating again. What should I do? My company is calling us back in January, hopefully, i would have moved on by then.
Ya its kind of very difficult. Even after years that memory will ache but you have to move on. You deserve peace of mind.
And yes its seems impossible to start dating again … again going through the same pain … but you have to take care of yourself and give yourself a chance. When you will get the right one.
I think you should remove her bro
She is toxic
Focus on career growth etc.
Sorry for you buddy
Yes, I am focusing on my career and doing okayish. I have also start going to the gym. I just hope I get over her before I go mad.
She is toxic tbh you deserve better
Thank you. I know this. Love is a stupid thing- makes you blind to all their bullshit and you only remember the good stuff. There are days when I am angry at her and then there are days where I just want to scream and punch the walls.
Bro I don’t believe in this ki just for love you’re gonna tolerate some bullshit behaviour again and again
Relationship mtlb your partner is meant to give you peace and uske saath tumhe accha lagna chahiye rather than you’re like tolerating bullshit and then wall pe punch krrhe ho
This is hindering your personal peace which is meant to maintained by your partner
Don’t mind but aaj kal log jiss way me realtioinship ko dekhte aur nibhaate hai na that is completely meaningless to me at least
I know all this. I could see big red flags everywhere. I know. But we don’t choose who we fall for, right?
Man I loved her. Heck, I worshipped her. And she took advantage of that .
People can be cruel. SMH.
Hy actually I can relate with you I know how actually it feels when you see someone else has taken your place in your loves life and you have no control over that but only tears. Let me be very clear and straight to you it’s been fucking 1 year and i am still not fully over my ex soo its better that you tell yourself that healing takes its own time. Please do not force yourself you will end up even more broken. There are my personal tips that work for me
1 do not contact her or let her contact you.
2 make yourself busy the much you can. Try new things, make new hobbies, work more in office, start studying something for your knowledge.
3 if ever she calls you (she will one day 100%) when she broke up with the guy right now she is with she will call you. DO NOT LET HER FEEL YOU FORGIVE HER. Tell her whatever you felt, how much she hurted you and then leave don’t try to be friends.
These things work for me though I am still not fully overcome but yess there is hell lot of improvement and I started feeling good after practising all these thing.
Thank you for the tips. I just want to move on fast because to avoid her I have to sacrifice so much. Read my reply to the first post starting " I have blocked her from all social media and deleted her number but we have the same friend circle…"
