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⚕️Depression

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@grant

Hi, I really hope you are all well.
I’m just really…I don’t really know, sad I guess. I have a bestie, super close. I am M, she is F. We are both 18. We know pretty much everything about the other. Long story short, she said she had a crush on me, made me realise I have one on her. Next day she comes and retracts all statements. I am torn apart by this. Recently it has felt that she has been very push and pull with me. Sometimes we are talking easily as we always do, making jokes and what not, sending selfies. But then she will take no interest in me, pull away, one word replies. She says she wants to focus on exams and not socialise, but she does so much, and it hurts so much. We use to hang out alot, but after that came out, it feels like she puts no effort into physically seeing each other. We used to do 1 long video call a week, now they are so rare. I feel like she is messing with my emotions. She says I have more of her heart than anyone ever has, that she trusts me more than anyone, in 2 years we’re hoping to be roomies at university. But then she makes me feel so unwanted. I feel I am putting in so much effort but she is putting in so little. I want to confront her, but I’m scared she will pin it on me or I am forcing something. I just want my best friend back. If we get into a relationship, cool, if we don’t, cool. I just want to know I can trust her, but it doesn’t feel like it. I really want to see and talk to her, I have made efforts offering study help, but she says no and says she will study with others. We were super close, I promise, I did shoots with her as a model, we had sleep overs, spend many hours just chilling, talking. We shared so much about ourselves with each other. Her bf treated her bad, and she has recently broken up with him. I hope it helps her, and maybe be more open with me, like we were. I want to take comfort in talking to her and not have to come to a website with tears down my face whilst she had once again decided to do anything but study with her other friends. I miss my friend, im trying to fight for her back, but it feels like she doesn’t want it. I care for her, and want her back to herself.

I apologise if this is a bit long, but thank you to all who read it. It feels good getting it out

Profile picture for Now&Me member @ellarush13
1 reply
Profile picture for Now&Me member @ellarush13
@ellarush13

Tell her this. Tell her how you feel like you’re losing her and you don’t want that to happen. Tell her how important she is to you. If you feel like it, maybe even tell her your deeper feelings for her. I know from experience how it feels when it seems like your best friend is slipping away from you. Tell her and she should see how much effort you’re willing to put into the relationship y’all have.

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