Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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⚕️Depression

🧑Anxiety

😰Stress

💗Relationships

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DepressionThought

If you or somebody you know is currently struggling, please take deep breaths and reach out to somebody. Here are few resources that may help.
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Anonymous

Hi, i needed someone to talk to and share what i am feeling without revealing my identity and not definitely being judged. Hope i Have doing a right form.
I am a woman aged 30 married 7 years back. I love my husband. I guess i still do. I am a normal woman i eat normal food and i have normal hormones like any other. But my husband is not like other men. Within first few days of marriage i understood that he s not much interested in romance. But he was being involved.
Sex between us gradually reduced to once a month or only when i ask for it. After a year of marriage he suddenly stoped responding. I decided to wait and see if he will show interest. Months passed, years passed. I was getting mad. I used to cry and sleep most of the night. Fight with him. He knew what exactly i was thinking but he decided to keep quite.
But other than that we were happy couple. Going out, movies, eqt out, pub and all… everything was perfectly normal but that one thing. But sometimes whenever i used to go deep thinking i was getting mad. After 3 years i started talking openly and asked him to get himself checked. Coz there was pressure from family to have a baby and even i wanted a child.
After multiple fights and crying, after our 4th wedding anniversary he finally said he s fine but he was shy to begin. So i helped him feel better and we had sex…!! Life wasn’t any better. His interest level was low only. After couple of months i got pregnant and boom. We are strangers on bed again. I gave birth, baby is 2 years old. And yet we are strangers on bed and extremely happy couples in front of others. And roll models to some too… now i think that he s never going to change and either i have to choose this life or leave him giving my child a different life when there is no father. Which i can’t imagine of. I want my baby to have a normal happy family. But what should i do. Whenever everyone says romantic couple, i get a sharp pain in my heart.
He loves me. He s not gay nor having any affair. He know he has problem. Every month i fight he accepts and he asks for time to change. And he ll be the same person from the next day. He s a gentleman. He respects everyone and treats me well. He s addicted to tv and phone. But he hardly gets time to spend infront of tv these days. Whenever i think of leaving him, he cries holding my hand asking for last chance. He doesn’t have parents and all he has is me and our child. That is the main reason i stayed with him from the beginning of our marriage knowing his condition.
Now me… i love him so much. I obviously expect him to love me and express his feelings. He never hugs me or kiss me unless i ask for it. Only i have to do or ask. There’s no such cute romances in our life. It never was there. Hug from back, kiss on sofa, playing in kitchen, shower together… such small things really matters and it’s all just a dream for me… i can’t see any romantic movies or songs. I immediately break down. Day by day i am going into depression. Sometimes i think of having an affair. I really think of it. And i even told him. But i dont want to do that. I dont want to have that guilt till i die… i am very good looking women so is he. When i go out even with child every men turns and looks at me. So many colleagues of mine appreciates my beauty and talks about my good dress sense, and being fit. But my husband never appreciated. If whenever i ask , he will just say you are always beautiful. And that’s it.
Now after reading my fate, please help me… tell me what should i do. How do i live this lifeless marriage till i die?? I want my child to be happy and get love from both parents. But i dont know how long i can survive in current condition.

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10 replies
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Anonymous

Wow. Never heard such thing before. No judging. He is shy but years later he should have change. Your relation with him is good except the sex life. You have open conversations with him on this topic too. Have you tried showing him love like hugging from back? Letting him calm down by cuddling? Does he get anxious about anything? Like how does he deal with stress? If he is ready take your relation to sex expert? Idk that might be weird or not. How could showing love can be a problem? Have you ever sat with him cuddling/ holding him? How does he react? You don’t have to answer all these but think how he does or how you can help him without getting irritated. You sure you have shown him love the way you want to be treated?

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Anonymous

7 years is a lot. Ofcouse you had have tired lot of things.

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Anonymous

Thank you for reading and responding… i really wanted someone to listen to me. As i could not share this with anyone so far… Yess… i have tried everything… i used to be the first one to start could be hug, kiss or cuddles… with my force he met a doctor once. But he din allow me to go with him. I trusted him and waited outside. He came back with some medicines and half of it is still in the drawer. Whenever i force him to take, he takes. Otherwise it is forgotten.

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Anonymous

My reply to your questions is under review. Don’t know how long they will take it to post. But thank you for listening.

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Anonymous

Did he share with you the medical reason?

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Anonymous

According to him there’s no such problems. They had given some hormonal tablets…

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Anonymous

How is his behavior towards your child?
Does he show parental love to the kid?
What about this parents? Was he close to them? Maybe he avoids attachment?showing love? People who lose love once can show such behavior on longer term. What about his past relationship before you? Any attachment?

This thought has been deleted by the thought author
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Anonymous

Okay i can tell you , but dont get mad but i have seen many couples doing the same , the main problem of these types of cases are sexual urge deived from some fetishes in ur case i feel like your husband need a boost once to get in that position to express his romance to u , i think ur partner is cuck (its not a bad thing) because as a cauple psychology student, i have seen many couples just like ur case, so what’s the solution? Let me tell you there are many services available in which you can have séx whith someone and ur partner will watch you , but take it as a treatment nearly it generally took 3 times of that service in a span of 8 days after that ur partner surely get interested to have a romantic urge toward u and after this he probably get a feeling of jealous from the guy u will have sex that ultimately make him attached towards u

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