Hey, not that great tbh. Thank you for responding to me. I really appreciate it. Im honestly so lost rn

:( Lately everythings messed up and I cant even talk about ghem to anyone. So thank you for responding to me

Hey, thank you. I appreciate it. I live a normal and decent life. I have a stable job. My family is ok. But deep inside I know Im unhappy. Ive had experiences before that really traumatized me (heartbreak). You know the feeling of living but not really? Thats what I feel most of the time. I dont really have something that Im looking forward to which is why when I have problems, I breakdown. And thats scaring me :(

I find it hard to be genuinely happy. Its like deep down I know Im not ok and even though Im smiling, it doesnt help me feel better at all. Its a constant battle everyday and Im just getting tired of it

It’s the adulthood and the responsibilities that changes our priorities and passion takes a back seat.
Think about the time when you were a kid. You must be having hobbies and things you enjoyed doing. Take a pen and paper, write your name at the top. Now think about yourself. Who are you, what are your likes and dislikes, what’s the craziest thing you have done, what fears would you want to overcome, what would you do if resources were available to you (Painting, Scuba diving, singing, getting in shape?). Go crazy on this paper and write your desires.
With this pandemic, you might not be able to fulfill everything (traveling or outdoors) but at least there will be one new thing which you can start doing now.
Life is really short buddy and we forget our clock is ticking.
For instance, I am a morning person but I had developed the habit of using social media past midnight. Now I am doing this little experiment on myself where I uninstalled all the apps to see if I can survive without it. Working on developing the habit of sleeping earlier each day until I reach my target. I feel good when I accomplish these small targets I set.

Start small. If you were the lead in a movie, what personality would you have? Can you try to become your own dream guy? Give this a thought.
😁

Whoever has hurt you, it is in the past now. It is gone. All the time you are carrying and thinking about that, you are essentially wasting more of your time on your past. You can try to process that feeling. I hear you. I relate to what you are saying. Some days I find it hard to get out of the bed. I let it be. You can’t deny your feelings you know. Each time you try to deny, the next time it will hit your even harder. So I just sit and let myself be. I cry and cry.
But I also tell myself after I am done, hey the best part is that it is over. It was in the past. Gratitude to the life I have now. My family, 2-3 friends, food in my belly. I am fit and fine.

Process it and let it go. Eventually it will hurt less. Focus on yourself.
I used to be this person who would smile just to keep others happy. But it’s so damn exhausting right? Forcing yourself to smile when you don’t want to.
Then I noticed. I can cheer anyone up if I am in a good mood. So the fix has to be done within me.
Another way, It would sound very cliche😁 but bear with me. Treat yourself the way you would treat your partner. If your partner was upset, wouldn’t you try to figure out every possible way to cheer your better half and do that. Simple.
We are more sincere in the efforts we put for the ones we love. Sad that we aren’t that attentive when it come to taking care of our own needs. I don’t know why we do that. Just human things may be.

Thank you for this @Ash. It may not seem a lot but I feel much better than I did earlier. I still dont know what’ll happen but I will try ‘cause I want to be happy. Thank you for taking your time to talk to a stranger like me. Stay safe wherever you may be and again thank your for talking to me. I really appreciate it. - Lay :)

It’s okay buddy. Okay let’s say you try something and fail at it. What is the worst thing that can happen? Is it something you can bear? If yes then it’s a calculated risk you got nothing to lose. On one side you have your said boring life. On the other side you got excitement and happiness. It’s totally worth it. You can always improve and try again right?
I am sure all the people who have lived the life to their fullest must have got cold feet many times but that didn’t stop them. The negativity you feel is your mind’s way of tricking you into stepping out of your comfort zone. It is trying to pull you into the loop of living the same life, same routine because it is familiar and comfortable with that. Anything new scares the mind.
So take it is a challenge.
People around you won’t know because you are always smiling honey. They won’t understand because you keep it to yourself afraid they might not understand it. That’s okay. They might be just like you deep inside. 😄

Hey Lay, you are going to be awesome! 😀
You will love life more than ever.
I will share how I start my day, may be that can help you.
1. 15 mins of meditation since my mind is a chatterbox and won’t shut up (Search this on youtube you will get plenty of videos)
2. 15 mins of Motivation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaZLro9G1WQ
Youtube has many such videos.

Check this out when you find trouble starting with any of your goals:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4x7MkLDGnu8&t=58s

It’s going to be alright. You know what my goal for the day was? To drink 3 litres of water. I am on the last 500 ml. 😂 So yay for the day!😃
It was nice talking to you. Know that you have people here. Talk your heart out. Stay strong. Take care! 😊

No worries don’t stress too much. You have so much energy right within you. You just haven’t discovered it.
And to be honest I am not really that positive. 😀 I just try to. Taking one day at a time. I am still in the process of overcoming things so we are in the same ocean. Just dealing with different storms.
If you get scared, you know where we will be. 😄
God bless you!