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Binge EatingThought

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Anonymous

hi i am 13 my name is kim and I struggle a lot with body image and weight scales and everything oh my god lets go back to months and months when i first figures how i could lose weight was exercising don’t eat 1000 calories eat 500-700 then the urge of eating at night came really bad I binged eat every night and night , i been called out by my parents that I eat nothing then eat at night , they screamed at me and said I wasn’t allowed to eat at night but that didn’t stop y urges of eating till I couldn’t walk properly because of how much food I consumed in such short ammount of time , so months had passed I went down to 112 to 98 before school could start yayyy, so my face was really thin I didn’t have much face fat like last … then everything came bad I started eating gaining and shit it hits , im gonna go back gaining 100 so I starved everyday everyday. My stomach was FLAT for the first time I actually cried of happiness i was so happy but when I ate I got bloated … that made me so unhappy and like I would exercise if I felt really guilty but ew I hated sweating so then I just like was “isnt there a thing where u binge and don’t gain weight, bulimia?” It was pretty bad first time I didn’t know but then I started doing it every week I ate upper than my average calories I puked it out and I got to 95 and I had stopped because my parents found out and they had taken away everything and I was stuck and sad for weeks but when I stopped the weight scale wasn’t looking to right it had said 98? I wasnt tracking my food my calories my pictures on my cellphone of my body wasn’t there . I today stand on the scale and it says 101 what’s going on I did everything the damage I fucking took went to waste ? So I start puking my food out again and my mom had found of , he threaten to take my phone away and never buy me anything again, and the worse part was she said to "starve myself because I’m just puking out the good food " she even made me clean up the toilet I had purge into , so it doesn’t matter anymore I will starve till I hit that number 95 and eat 500 everyday

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1 reply
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Anonymous

1. You might hate your parents for being strict but their intentions are right.
2. This isn’t the healthy way of losing weight.
3. Go to gym
4. Seek therapy ( cos you probably have body dysmorphia).

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