Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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Hi guys. I just created an account here. I’ve been feeling a bit low ever since the 2nd lockdown occurred in my country. There’s been a lot on my mind recently and’ I don’t really know who to talk to. I have friends that i’ve known for a very long time but don’t feel confortable opening to them. I know they won’t understand how I feel because the few times i’ve tried talking to them their words towards me were just so far from what I needed to hear. I know seeking confort from them and hearing their advices will annoy me and make me feel even more shitty.

I’m 18 and started college on September. I thought uni life would be so much fun, just like in the movies. Boy was I wrong. I haven’t made any friends, lost motivation to go to class, found out that the subject I was studying for was not for me and now that I want to change it to something else, everyone around me just make me feel so fucking stupid. Like they would just look at me after I’d tell them what I want to study and be like « aren’t u dumb? » « you must be kidding » « that isn’t for you » « you have no clue what you’re doing and going to do ».??? Like no fuck Einstein, I know i’m Not sure that’s what I want to do but NOT ONE of my friends and family actually gave me a real piece of advice. Maybe like « how I could see you do this » « I think you should consider tatada… ». The worst in this is that my decision wasn’t even dumb. I’d rather give up Now than spend another 6 months doing something I know for a fact isn’t right for me. And when I explain this to people they have nothing to say bc they know i’m Right, they’re just so used to criticising me that they won’t even recognise when I do something right. That’s just fucking toxic.
I feel sad cause I feel like i’ve Always been there for people close to me, always tried to help them out when they needed it, be there whenever they needed an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. I’m not asking for anything in return than just the same thing. Yet, out of all the people that I know, not one can genuinely understand how I feel and how I think.

I’m 18 and everyone is pressuring me to know what I want to do with my life, especially since this virus arrived, wrecked the economy and threatened all of our futures. I know every student or young people also feel the same as I do, but I just want someone to listen to me.
Anyways, I wanted to let this out at least. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
And thanks to everyone who’s read that far.

1 reply

hey you’re not alone i feel it too . most of people only want someone to hear their feelings, thoughts , and complaint about this or about that but almost all of them dont wanna be a good listener to you cuz dude people are so egoist . so i think you must meet a good friend who not judge your choice or wanna hear all your feelings


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