Thought

@nikky

Hi everyone,Iam 18 yes old,iam an introvert,for my entire life my mom used to be my bestie,and i used to share everything with her,but nowadays,my 11yr old sister spend most of her time with my mom,and my mom is not being friendly to me anymore,i feel very lonely,moreover my sister always scoldes me,call me by bad names and hurts my feelings.she doesnโ€™t give any respect to me and always pulls me down,even when i set boundaries,she hurts me a lot,i am very depressed by her toxicity.Even when i take this issue to my mom,she doesnโ€™t care about it.i have no one to talk to as i have no true friends,and i donโ€™t like to go out of home.CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME,I FEEL VERY LONELY AND I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO,CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WAYS TO DEAL WITH MY SISTER AND LONLINESS.

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6 replies
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Anonymous
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Hey Nikky!

My momโ€™s my bestie too. So, I can understand how you feel. It is ideally her responsibility to divide her time and attention between you and your sister equally. Maybe she feels that since your sister is growing up, she needs more time and understanding than you do. And that is perhaps why you end up getting and feeling ignored in the process. I would suggest you ask her to spend a little more time with you too, and let her know that you feel neglected.

Refer to this article on how to tackle loneliness: https://nowandme.com/blog/no-one-to-talk-to-about-my-problems

As for your sister, she needs to be schooled, and since youโ€™re older than her you can teach her whatโ€™s right and whatโ€™s wrong, but a major part also lies in how and what your mom/parents are communicating to her. If they are not teaching her to respect her elder sibling, then thereโ€™s only so much you can do. Maybe she gets better over time, maybe sheโ€™s just in her pre-teen phase and being annoying for no reason. Whatever the reason might be, donโ€™t lose your cool over this, just think that sheโ€™s a child and doesnโ€™t know any better and that youโ€™re the adult and more mature one and therefore you have to teach her.

@nikky
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Thank you very much buddy,but my sister hates me and does not listen to me at all,how to teach her,she disrespects me a lot,and interfere in my matters, iam developing bitterness and resentment towards her,how get rid of my resentment it eats me completely.

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Anonymous
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I supposeโ€ฆgiving her a taste of her own medicine? If she interrupts you, you interrupt her. If sheโ€™s rude to you, you also treat her rudely. She needs to know that only good behaviour begets good behaviour in return. I know you donโ€™t feel nice about resenting your sister, but itโ€™s okay. Itโ€™s normal to feel that way, especially when sheโ€™s behaving like that. Just donโ€™t harbour on to the resentment completely, after a while try to just breathe it out and let it go. But no need to go nice or soft on her, till she learns how to treat you properly.

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Anonymous
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I donโ€™t know if it will be useful to you but itโ€™s better not to go down to someoneโ€™s level or let personal relationship exploit you and make you a bitter person.

If at all it is possible , move out from the house. Maybe not the best option. But if you can try it will help you.

Find a part time job. Make some friends who can teach you or take you forward in life. Save money and do something good.

Trying to save the relationship which family can be really emotionally draining. (Been there, done that)

I would suggest if you spend your time and energy into making your self something.

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Anonymous
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I really agree on this one, even though Iโ€™m the one who wrote above replies, I think this is a better way of dealing with things.

@krishna
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Contact my number hahha

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