Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Hi
Everyone. I have desperately been trying to seek answers or an understanding for what has happened in my life. I had a male best friend who i had known for almost 5 years we had an amazing connection always there for each other. Feelings were involved and we were on and off as BF and GF we had physical contact but our friendship always came first. There was a big age gap between us and hes always said he couldn’t marry me as his family would not agree. Years went on and we got closer and closer. He was looking at potentials to marry which would always hurt me so much i tried getting into new relationships too as no matter what i said i about marrying me he didn’t want to hear it or he would argue with me it hurt me alot knowing we were so good together he just would not make his the right way. He told me he had feelings for me he had alot of love and cared for me alot. We were a massive part of each others lives. Until he got engaged he was in tears telling me had feelings for me but his dad had chosen a girl for him to marry. But he had a choice and he chose her. We argued alot. As he said his feelings for me were as a friend only. And that i was his past. Things got better and we were seeing each other still i know im at fault but i couldn’t let him go i was holding onto whatever i could 2 weeks before his wedding he was with me. But then he got married it hit me hard. I didnt think he would actually go ahead and marry. Ive been in denial i thought i meant something to him. He thought it was just easy for me to accept it and move on. Like he has done. I have so much hate and resentment for him its killing me. I feel hes taken advantage off me used me till the very end and hes done one. He told me his wife would want to go through his phone and he couldnt keep the contact with me. After his marriage which was 2 months ago. Guess hes had a guilt conscious he was trying to contact me. But only to find out hes made lies up about me that he had been begging me to keep away from him he threatened me and then accused me of trying to break his marriage. How could my best friend turn out so cruel. Hes broken my trust completely everything’s ruined. i lost my temper and swore at him and blocked him. I feel horrible. We have both blocked each other. But i cant accept hes just left me like that. He lied to me lied about me. I valued him so much. It hurts like hell. How can he be happy after what hes done to me?i used to think we would be friends for life. I meant nothing to him.
I cant cope its gone all wrong.