Hi can anyone of you please help me as mom or as an elder sister I need genuine help which I can tell in message. Mom and elder sister are very loving and caring they can understand our problem so that I can share openly and I'll get relief 

3am Thoughts

Love yourself!!

Self Love

Dec 13, 2021

Good morning 🌤️🌞
I forgot to post last night because i was too tired and i had to finished my 3 activities in P.E, however we finally finished our practice in basketball yesterday it was super tiring and exhausting I can't even shot the ball wtf-- 😅 but somehow it was fun I got a good time with my two friends hehe. 

Exhausted

Hii I'm feeling very lonely

Breakup

You might think a 12-year-old doesn't have mental breakdowns every day, you might think online schools not stressful, you might think seeing your friends posts when they're together shouldn't hurt the heart, you might think that I'm fine on the outside and inside, you might think being a 12 year old is easy, you might think I should be happy and not be sad, you might think I'm just acting for attention, you might think that I'm fine, you might think being a kid in my shoes is easy.


Family

idk what to do, I feel like I'm a bad person, my bf is not happy with me, he says it's suffocating for him, whenever I try to tell him what's wrong how am I feeling and what's hurting me he just put the blame on me that you never accept your fault you blame me for everything you show your real side during arguments you manipulate me you just say things never prove them, he believes that he's the only one putting efforts in the relationship but the thing is he did when we were not in relationship he was a complete different person when we were not in relationship he chased me and when I said yes, after few months of relationship he don't listen to me he don't let me talk or I can say let me complete what I'm saying always say that I'm wrong but I never accept that I'm wrong, and now I feel like I'm the one putting efforts only, okayy I agree I used to say that I'll leave you if you did anything wrong with me and that's because of my past, I don't trust boys but still I'm with him trying to understand him and love him the way he wants to but there comes another issue that's my past, he has problem with my past, he has a problem with my bestf even tho I don't talk to my bestf just because he don't like it, I have no friends except my bf and he also know this still he don't trust me, I don't look at any boy, I'm fully loyal to him, I was only one when things were wrong, I used to make sure he eats properly, he's okayy, I used to stay out with him late nights whenever he needed and now he says that what have you done, you just did 10% of what I have done for you and I says that's because you wanted me that time it was necessary to show efforts because you wanted me to be with you I never wanted that, and now when he knows that I'm attached to him, I can't leave him, he's saying you are 90% wrong and you will save this relationship and I'm not going to do anything this time as if he saved relationship everytime we fought, it was because I stayed there even after every fight and what he did a couple days ago, I was in a function trying to pretend that everything's alright and at night he texted me that he's done with me and with everything, I was very angry I said a lot of things so did he, but now he's offended or I can say he's upset that why I said that just after your breakup you chased me you forced me for this relationship and you say you're not this type of guy who move on to girls one after other , even tho he said much more worse things like you're always like this, you're not real, you play victim card , it's better to leave you because of your behaviour, it's very suffocating with you because you don't let me do what I want to like tf bro you do things which are not acceptable publicly you should look at your tone and your voice you cannot shout at me in public you do things which make me feel embarassed sometimes and when I say I don't like it then it's wrong, he says I'm dominating only in arguments , as if he didn't know it in the beginning he knew me very well, he was completely aware of all my red flags still chose to be with me and now all of this is  bothering him, I feel like I'm wrong everytime, he makes issues of things like when I deny to meet him just because I want to to my work and study then he'll create an issue and after sometime will say oh okay I understand and will send me reel like if she do this she don't love you, etc etc shit, and on the other side he leave my messages on seen sometimes, he makes me  feel like I'm extending the relationship, it's like he's being with me so that he can loose his attachment with me and then will leave , I'm disturbed with all this, I want to save this relationship because he's still the best guy, inspite of all the fights and arguments he give me princess treatment like fr , he understands me but not that much but still, I'm so in love with him, idk what to do, how to make him feel happy, he say that you don't keep me happy only I do , I'm not satisfied with you, and after giving him everything I had I feel like I'm not enough for him, I told my family about him, after our recent fight I cried whole night my lungs were hurting I was not able to breathe I was having panick attacks because he said he's done and I'm his enemy now,, after typing this message he deleted it , I called him I cried a lot , that night was horrible and now I'm trying to make sure he feel happy with me, trying to do whatever possible thing so that he feel okay because he said he can never move on from me and he also want to save this relationship he's trying too to forget whatever I said but it'll hurt him forever, we both want this relationship but things always get worse whenever we fight, idk what to do, i literally don't know

Anxiety

Socially awkward people? My heart starts racing very quickly and i think its clearly visible on my face! Even righting this rn is making me cringe so hard

Can somebody listen to me? I don't know what to do, I've been crying for 2 days now. I can't sleep 😥 I have no one to talk to. 

Depression

Let your dreams define you. If you define your self with problems in your life, your definition will change every moment. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts