Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Sir, I think it’s my mom and I can’t tell him about my mom like that. And she refused in front of him.she said no I don’t want anything like it. one day I tried to clear everything I call my mom while I called him but she harsh with me and angered.she said it is a private thing why you trying to show me bad.she never listing me, always shout on me and say get out from here or don’t talk to me. please help me. I also try to tell him but he said it is your doubt your mom want to marry you with me.how she can think about herself.but she doing doubtful activities if she tells me she wants him I help her.but she doesn’t trust me. she apart from me just because of him.

i just read a suggestion from @st1199 i think she is right.

Mam, You know what 1 tried these things she refused about her those activities.
1:i saw she text him privately hide from me.
2:one day I asked do you want to marry him she said yes.
When I asked in front of my sister she was frightened and say not at all.
3:i tell him, my mom, like you and I heard that you purpose her, he said are you made, we have let’s of the age difference.
4:my mom sends him its money just because my mom thinks he will marry her.
5:6 month ago she insist me to marry him when personal 2 or 3 times she talked with him about me she fell. And say stay away from him.you need more good man than him.
6:sometime he used lots of kinds and beautiful words for her she thinks another thing inside that, not his mean.
7:after facing the whole situation I told him I don’t want to be with you he was cried, he did lots of promise that he never cheat me, he loves me, he wants me, he never says to leave me etc I am not a hard girl. I have a very soft heart I was cried the whole night after doing that my eyes were swelled like a balloon. I called him again and apologize and promised to be with him forever.
And my mom also insists on me doing that.
As I told you the whole story now she says to stay away from , Mam I don’t know how I can tell him that again.my mom said I have to say I don’t like him. how I can hurt him again.please mam help me.

Okay. So, do what you want to do.
If you like him and he likes you (genuinely) go ahead without thinking about your mother. She herself is confused and I think she wants a man to fill in the gap rather than genuinely wanting a guy for marriage.

Sometimes we need to take the harsh path. I hope you know the guy personally, met him, talked over the phone and know about his life and everything.
Why is he texting your mother privately when he likes you? There shouldn’t be any reason at all. Think about all the possibilities before melting down for your mother and the guy both.

He texts her but he doesn’t know what going inside my mom. sometime I doubt him, I think he cheats on me but when I asked him he said no I can’t do that. i am in the worst situation. how I can marry someone who is messed for me because of my mom. And he also older than me but he said age does not matter. I am 19 and he is 26. I don’t want to marry early but mam problem is here He wants me truly but my mom pushes me into doubt about him. Everything was good but suddenly my mom fall and all situation changed. if I say I don’t want to marry you, he will cry and he will not marry any won’t as he said. I don’t know what I should do. you know my mom plans that I have to refuse his proposal that I can’t. because if he asked what happened suddenly what I will say. And she wants to marry him that will never happen without a miracle, but I want to make my mom happy she should do but please clear everything and remove me from this stress. He thinks as we were , he talked to me on the phone we were but I know my mom doesn’t want our relation anymore. He will break if I say that.

You don’t have to take the whole burden on you. If he says he can’t live without you he MUST understand your situation and say that we will figure this out together. You are not alone to think everything. It’s his responsibility as well. Understand and don’t just act because of emotions.
You are just 19 and marriage shouldn’t be your priority rather CAREER should be and focus on that rather than this guy.
He in no way should be in contact to your mom, please understand and don’t go by his words. Everyone says that till they are getting everything they want. He won’t marry to anyone and will not eat anything it’s all bullshit and you are definitely falling for it and he is taking advantage of the whole situation.

Be more careful and realistic than going with the flow. The longer you take the mess the longer you are going to be stressed.
JUST WAKE UP AND DO THE RIGHT THING RATHER THAN THINKING FOR THE ‘GUY’ AND STRESSING YOURSELF OUT.

Now I understand. Thanks and love you.because love is unconditional and you give me your time without any cost. Thanks for your care, your kind words.I will do right things that you suggest me.Thanks.

Exactly. Since you are going by his whole love thing you want to ignore everything else.
But read my words again and again, it will help you in deciding and knowing the truth.

Yes,I take screenshots of yours suggestions I will read tgem daily as you said I have to wake up and do right things and focus on careet Rather than marriage it is not my priority.I will remember all of these suggestions.And mam I also Sure mostly men changed after gettings things or love and marriage if he changed What I will do,so I am focusing on my career but one thing make me worried is that if he sincer with me or I losed someone better and marrey with wrong person it will pain for my whole life.Because Allah knows better than me.My thoughts push me down.You know what he said he will never stop me for education and career he will do everything for me.Anyways I focus on yours suggestion and no longer think about him.First I have to make my career and another things come after.Love you Mam.Thanks.

Again you want him and not seeing your life beyond that.
We have to take decisions wisely and Allah just puts things in our way. He doesn’t do everything for us, we are liable for our actions.

Please UNDERSTAND, he will say everything because he wants you and knows you are devoting all your time to him. How can you be so sure, he will be a man of his words? Has Allah told you that he is the one?

If you want to think with whom you are going to marry right now, please do. Go and make an account on SHAADI.COM or JEVANSATHI.COM and watch out for bachelors. Decide who is the one. After this think about you and your career since that’s secondary for you and not primary.

After all this, either make up you mind or waste your whole life on a man.👍

No,never I do not want to waste my life for a man.It will shame for me.No,It is not my priority.Ok I will focus on my study.I did yesterday too.And I has not been replying him.Insha Allah everything will sort out for me.And Mam rarely I agreed with other thoughts but I completly agreed with you.Love you from Canada🍁

I am hoping you will continue with this attitude. Not only studies but have fun too in life. Do whatever makes you happy.

Indulge less in that man. Take time away from him. And thankyou for showing faith in me. Sending positive vibes and love from India.
All the Best!💗

Thanks,you are beautiful because of your beautiful heart.Thanks mam.May Allah bless you.

Thankyou 😊

☺