Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Hey there!
I have no clue where to start my problems from.
So I’m in a relationship with a guy from past 4 months and I’m happy actually the thing is my parents got to know about him 2 months back and didn’t accept him. They threatened me and beated me for making him my bf and told me to break contact with him. Even after all of this he accepted me and loved me, my parents don’t know that I’m still with him, they check my phone and all everyday and my mom treats me like shit…she calls me slut and beats me for what I did … after this my parents never gave me privacy and whenever I tell them anything about my problems the just neglect it, it always hurts getting ignored by my parents. This guy whose my bf knows about it and helps me and consoles me that he’s with me and he’ll listen to me but I just want some of my parents attention as well… whenever I break down infront of my mom she never consoled me instead calls me “attention seeker”. It’s getting hard for me to breath in here, feels like I’m an adopted kid, my mom always loves other children and listens to there problems and helps em but when it comes to me she always neglected it and hurted me more… when I told her about my depression and how insecure I was few years back all she told me was" you should’ve told me before I can’t help you now, it’s your fault" when the truth is I told her several times but she never payed attention to all those scars on my hands and many more… i sometimes feel I am wrong and I’m just overreacting to it but trust me,it’s hurting me more and more… I don’t want to tell this to my man as I feel like I would pressurise him in some or the other way even tho he won’t judge me…