Hey, I woke up crying today. The guy that have been in love with my whole life told me a couple of days ago he did not want a relationship with me. We have been friends for almost close to 20 years. And this is not the first time he told me this but it hurts like the first time. I really want to move on from this and never look back. I feel like he said things that made me feel that one day we were going to actually try to make things work but lately he had been acting like he was trying to push me away. And when I finally poured my heart out to him he shut me down like he always do. He said he wasn’t ready. And I should have expected that but it hurts so bad to hear those words come out his mouth. This time it hurts in a different way. I dont know if it’s because we are older or the fact that I feel like no one wants me. I have had relationships with guys but I always compare them to him. I just want to get pass this so I can stop crying.
Even though I don’t have a relationship before… but i could advise you something. Yes, you and the guy you had been in love has ended a friendship… it’s really heart broken and pain. But don’t let these emotions to damage your health, sleep well and eat well, you and him wishes all the best for each other, maybe he wasn’t so ready about this relationship, but you can’t go head to toes over him. I’m not encouraging you to let go of him but you also shouldn’t make yourself suffer because of a guy which doesn’t really treasures you. By the way, don’t feel that “no one wants you” there’s always someone loves you, wants you and being by your side ( parents, friends, siblings, relatives, etc…) Girl, Love yourself and go out for a walk, or perhaps watch a movie or netflixs, CHEER UP😍👍
You are right my friends tell me all the time it’s not me. I just feel like they tell me that because they are my friends. But I love your advice. Made me smile a little and I’m really not the one to be sad all the time. It’s just this guy you know. But I can get over this. Thank you.
I’ve been in your situation before. I liked this guy my whole college life until I graduated. All my feelings were all spent on him. We have been friends since freshman year. Everytime I looked at him I thought that one way or another we’re gonna end up with each other (the delusion lol) But that was until I found out that they have something going on with my bestfriend (the betrayal) I tried to make them confess so that I could finally move on and let them be, but instead they continuously lied to me and made me feel like a villain, and they somehow outcasted me out of the group. I felt alone, depressed, heartbroken. I never thought it would end like that. Losing the guy I liked and losing my friends whom I have known for years. I even found out that the guy I liked hated me all those years and somehow managed to be an angel in front of me. I distanced myself until it won’t hurt anymore. I ended up blaming myself and hating myself because of those things. Am I a defective product? I’m I hard to love? It would have been fine if he doesn’t feel the same way, I would have accepted it but to think he hated me on top of that. Do I deserve that? Is he too good for me? Am I reaching out of my league that’s why I’m being punished? All these years, I realized the answer is simple. He wasn’t the one for me. It’s not like I don’t deserve him, it’s him who don’t deserve me. You should’t blame yourself, instead you should say to yourself that you deserve better that’s why you didn’t end up with him 🥺🤍
Amen to that 🙌
I’m trying to move on. I know I deserve better. I don’t think he hates me. The more I think about it the more I feel like maybe we shouldn’t be together
If you knew him he is a very caring person. He is not perfect but his heart is different well I guess it might just be me thinking that. He lost his brother about two weeks ago. But that was right after he told me that he wasn’t ready. I really don’t want to find anyone else because most guys just lie until you have sex with them. So right now I’m just going to focus on my child and future career.
is he your first love? then I kinda get ya it’s hard to move on from that but are you mixing up nostalgia and love maybe the reason why you can’t move in is the sense of childhood nostalgia and that innocent first love feelings that you get. in this case I suggest that you make some distance between him and you and try to get over him. He’s not in love with you and this will only keep hurting you so let go and try your best to move on and find someone who makes you feel totally different in a good way.
I have been spending some time away from him. The crazy thing is as soon as he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship his brother passed the next day. He texted me and we started back conversing but it’s obvious that things are not the same, well to me, he said he doesn’t see the difference. I told him I wouldn’t just leave him out there while he was grieving because I know how it feels to loose a loved one. I lost my mother when I was 8 and I lost my second child a couple of years ago. I know the pain you feel when you are doing that alone. I don’t want him to give up. He is a good person and a good friend. He has trust issues and I know I can’t do anything about that. I stopped texting him for a couple of days because l was really in my feelings. I texted him yesterday because I got that sick feeling that something wasn’t right. He texted back with a little bit more feeling than he usually does. I know he’s going through something. And I’m trying not to fall back in love with him because I care about his well being. He was the first guy I ever feel in love with and even though we broke up in high school we never really stop keeping in touch. He holds on to me for dear life. And I’m no better. Last year we made a promise to try to get to know each other better as adults because we were kids when we where together the first time around. I’m learning alot about him and myself that I didn’t realize before. I’m more hurt because I know I was wrong to ask him to make a choice to be with me because that was not what we agreed to do. I got so caught up in thinking that he was going to fall for someone else that I jumped out there and made myself feel worse. But he’s not gone he just don’t want a relationship. I really don’t need one either because I’m in school right now and it’s really hard. I hardly have time to spend with my child. I feel like I shouldn’t keep in touch as much but I just want to make sure he is ok. I put my main focus back on my child and school and it’s working for right now. I still get a little teary eyed when I think about it but I know what’s
Can we talk?
Well said !!