Hey, I just need some advice, I have been dating this guy since January 2022 and it’s been kinda long distance since we live approximately 70 kms away from each other. It was difficult to hangout but we did for 5 months, sober, went out to cafés and restaurants to eat. He has been a smoker and I was aware of that since he admitted it to me and he told me he had stopped in 2020. He had been lying to me about it, and now we’ve started meeting frequently and we started with a beer and little food and he kept saying he hates that I don’t get drunk with him. So I did try, the only problem is I have to get back home and it’s not safe for me to travel alone so far. To make him happy and keep things chill between us, we smoked as well the last date we went out. I tried to act as normal as I could but he just can’t get enough of beers, cigarettes and making out in public and it makes me super uncomfortable and I’ve talked to him about this but he keeps saying I’ll get used to this and it’ll feel normal to me. He has eight to ten beers every Saturday and it makes me uncomfortable. I asked him to go to a cafe and have a relaxed date, he got disappointed and told me it’s fine because he’s going out with his friends that very night to get drunk. I don’t think he respects my opinion and calls me complicated . I don’t know what to do as my relationship is pretty serious and we’re planning on studying abroad together and living together. Nothing makes it easier.
Sorry I meant 2021
Girl i dont wanna butt in his personal choices but heavy drinker and smokers is a no no. Like just tell him he has to limit his intakes. He cant see your struggles. Talk to him and make him realise this. You know whay to do if this continues .
I’ve talked to him and he thinks I bring out sanskaari shit on him and I behave like a prude with just him
If i am really honest : give him the ultimatum of you vs the drinks and smoking. Let him choose you and not those addictions.
Well that’s what the condition was before I started dating him and he chose me but I got sucked into this and I don’t know how to get him out so we can share a good life together
I went to thorugh other comments. Did he move into this country for your sake ? Cause that is big commitment and therefore you can try that ultimatum again. You have to tell him you can risk your future with someone who drinks and smoke a lot and would die in his 40s leaving you with kids alone to raise them. If he in he has to give 100 percent commitment .
Yes, you’re right. I will. Thank you.
I’m really sorry buddy, but this doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. You shouldn’t just do things to make him happy sacrificing your own comfort. I hope you realise things before it gets late.
I just don’t know what I’m gonna do since I made myself available to just him since the last year, it’s been so weird to even talk to people who used to be my friends
Gurpreet Singh @fugitive
Well breaking up or not is your decision, I can only suggest you to pull yourself a little out. Be in touch with your friends and have a life apart from him. He should be a part of your life, he should not be your life.
Luna Lia @lunaleeka
Yes you’re right and I’ve started connecting a little bit with my friends just for my sake, not to vent of course. They didn’t like him
I don’t know him, but what all you’ve told me dude even I don’t like him.
Luna Lia @lunaleeka
We don’t even share the same shows or music or the people we’re in contact with
Gurpreet Singh @fugitive
Jill, if you’re looking for someone to tell you to breakup then you probably should. If you’re looking for a sign, this is it.
I really don’t want to
But, do you need to?
Luna Lia @lunaleeka
I hope it hasn’t come to that
Well, as long as hope is there. But don’t lose yourself in the relationship.
Yes
Gurpreet Singh @fugitive
Reach out if you wanna talk, anytime.
Thank you so much
Luna Lia @lunaleeka
ITS OVERRRRR AAAAAAAAHHHHHH IM SO HAPPY but it fuckn sucks that he broke up with me but ITS OVERRRRRRR
Gurpreet Singh @fugitive
Oh my god! I’m opening this app after two months because of your comment!! Are you okay though??
Luna Lia @lunaleeka
Well a week of panic and anxiety attacks while he still is at bars and after a lot of crying and not being able to eat. Sure, this is what one has to go through right ? It’ll be okay soon
Luna Lia @lunaleeka
Feels great though
Gurpreet Singh @fugitive
Yes, it sure is something we has to go through!! But you’ll be okay and happy soon
Luna Lia @lunaleeka
Yesss. Thank you for listening to this. Nobody needed to but you did and helped.
Gurpreet Singh @fugitive
I’m here, if you wanna rant lol
Luna Lia @lunaleeka
Yes
Luna Lia @lunaleeka
I just hate that the breakup came from him. Because I wasn’t classy or rich enough for his parents and he didn’t fight for me. He gets bossed around by his mother and gets scared of his younger sister. They have him on leash. He’s going to get engaged in a couple of months actually. And we’re only 21 so yeah it was very heartbreaking knowing that when I wanted out he didn’t let me and he told me he’s fought for me and everything is working out. I’m glad it’s done. The guy embarrassed me and didn’t show up for my birthday when I had changed the venue just for him. Only wanted to go to bars and get me as drunk as I could and get handsy in public. I had to drop him late at night even though I live almost an hour and half away. I’d been wanting this to end and now it has but it just hurts like a bitch. Knowing that he made me feel im not good enough for him or his family.
I did and now the post is under review and unapproved. ☠️ Anyway this is a long way but he’s ruined me forever. Mf’s getting engaged in couple of months. Can’t stand up to his parents and gets scared of his mom and younger sis.
Gurpreet Singh @fugitive
Ruined you in a bad way or spoilt you in a good way?
Luna Lia @lunaleeka
I don’t know. Knowing he’s out in bars and going to the country we decided to and I’m not for now kind of sucks and he’s out having beers and food with women
Gurpreet Singh @fugitive
Well, I believe whatever happened happened for goood!!
Luna Lia @lunaleeka
Yes. Thank you for being there
