Hey I don’t know how many of you will relate but my life is kinda killed by my social anxiety like I can’t even stand up in front of 5 people and speak. Throughout my school life I’ve never participated in anything which never gave me a practice to speak up. Including all of this I don’t even speak English fluently. My whole freaking life is stuck because of this. I try so much to not to be like this i hate myself because of this I can’t do stuff in my college because of this. I’m always left behind in my group because of my lack of confidence or say lack of skills. I don’t even know what i am good at. I am turning 20 in 2 months and it scares me. I’ll never be good enough. Even my boyfriend is not actually proud of me I don’t blame him tho I haven’t done anything to be proud of. He keeps telling me about all the other girls doing stuff and overachieving things. It’s frustrating.
I can totally relate .I was just the same as you .In school and college I always tried to escape from gathering or debate or any kind of compition .I was just so scared to face people .But you know what as I grew up I came to realise that I’m not actually afriad of people ,I am scared of myself ,facing myself in crowd as I thought I can’t take all the eyes over me but you know what they all are human beings just like me and I tried to participate slowly slowly even though I look stupid at first I did not even talk in front of people just standing there like a loof after some try I started speaking 2 lines then call it quits but slowly slowly I learned ,still I have phoebia but it will take time to overcome .And don’t demotivate and let this affect you just don’t give up ,even you can’t speak whole speech or debate but please try it will make you feel accomplished and after some try you want to do it more I am not good in social speaking but I have other traits and qualities which other people don’t have so don’t be depressed ,you will learn to face slowly. As you mentioned about your bf You should talk to him and tell him how his actions hurting you .I’m sure he will understand .I know when we depressed we expect people to understand us without telling them but people can’t read minds all the time you should tell when you feel hurt .The people who really care will try to understand you I’m sure .
Thankyou sooo much this really uplifted me and the fact that I’m not scared of people but myself, to face myself in public is so relatable. I am afraid people will see the real dumb me and will think I actually don’t know anything. Anyway Thankyou :)
Well, firstly yes, I relate to this immensely. You sound like you have introvertive tendencies, and need more time to acquaint to social situations than someone who is extroverted. Speaking out to any crowd is nerve-wracking…you need to go easy on yourself. Take time to figure out yourself…what are your goals? What do you enjoy? What is important to you and start setting time to do it…and take it one day at a time. i wouldnt know what to say about your bf because I feel that if someone is putting you down in anyway I say kickem to the curb, but of course you probably want to maintain a relationship with em…perhaps tell him how you feel when he’s comparing you to others.
You’ll get through these frustrations👍
Hey you got it right i am an introvert and it really messes up when my boyfriend is an extreme extrovert ugh he literally knows everyone and what everyone is upto. Apart from that , thankyou for understanding , it really means a lot 😃😃
So here is the thing your lack of self confidence is not your fault understand this. I guess according to my life’s past experiences i know there are some incidents in life which leads to create us the way we are today so haw can we improve this, its simple don’t complicate things. Make it easy 1 step at a time.i was underconfident too so i joined gym build some muscle and it changed my mentality people noticed me etc you can do the same find something which interests you and share it with world and dont worry about criticism. Its just our mindset ill tell you 1 thing i was afraid to share my photovraphy page with my friends i thought they will laugh at me but then i thought fuck it ill share it and the outcome was each and everyone supported me and today they share me photography tutorials and help me grow. So all that being said
Step 2 read books it helps in building prespective towards life.
Step 3 ask your boyfriend to be the judge as he knows you closely i guess he can tell you where you lack and what you can improve
Try all this out and if you need more help hit me up in my instagram @theakshaypatill
I have found some solutions to this. Firstly, I set a goal in the future to have things the right way. Secondly I reasoned to myself that if I can do things that are truly convincing to just myself, where I have eliminated the reason and doubt in my own mind, then they sort of have no choice but to work out with people. I can say for sure that once you start realizing that you have a lot more control over these situations and you have by no choice of your own had something impressed upon you from the outside society. Now that you are older, put your destiny in your own hands with the idea that you can impose yourself onto people, you don’t have to be like them or lesser versions of them, you can be a greater version of your current self and you can establish a plan tailored to your own strengths and refine yourself to be something more unique and greater than the average medium, which is usually just people acting a certain lesser acceptable way anyways. You can be the imperator of individuality. Do, self talk, think of it as a spiritual pilgrimage, come to your perfection. Especially and this is critical, do things that you can prove to yourself makes you better, you are already used to the non-favorable feedback, so do things that provably increase your situation. Maybe instead of more fluent English, talk more fluently from your heart and move things with your voice, I bet you have an exceptional expressive capacity to relate emotions. Next, do positive self-talk for accomplishments, when you love you, you love a part of that soul-mate and that soul-mate is guaranteed to love you loving you. I like exercise, especially cardiovascular, it is a great way to ensure that what is important is being increased, any increase here physically and psychologically will add to your impressability with others. Next, become fully aligned with your own conscience and morality, every little thing that matters to your conscience is what needs to be resolved, this is big because for me, things like eating animals was huge, influences that are violent and non-healthy language usage was huge. This sub-conscience, the scared boxed in little lover, is hurt in you and really wants you to like you, more than anyone else, trust me this is very true. You really want to get to where there is nothing better in your capacity to be doing at any give time, you want to be fully and willfully aligned. This will also increase your capacity for communications, equilibrium with your conscience. Try looking in the mirror and talking to yourself, be serious and drive it home, look at your expressions and animations and practice. Write letters to yourself or others, do internal talk and go deep with subjects you are good at, change your internal and external behaviors to be aligned and give that some time, because most have different internal and external worlds and that is not healthy, your external world interfaces with your sub-conscious and specifically your soul mate, it is called the second person and is meant to be in equilibrium. Make sure to establish goals, do things to fulfill them and count it as spiritual fulfillment, career, life and everything else. It really is all on the line here, give it all because you have to be here anyways and remember, you have already endured the most non-favorable, especially if you start taking point. Pick something that interests you, a destination a scene you would like to have occur and start jotting down, planning, thinking and take the first step towards there, you will find that once you start, more steps and the exact how to become evident and boom, you are on the way to setting your own sails and even being one with making the wind. Many people go through this and at the other end of it can be a great rewarding self understanding and you can help so many others. Have a good expectation for others, expect that as you increase, they will increase and now you are something of a messiah…haha…anyways, I had to respond, this is my first post. I wanted to start out the right way, thanks for sharing and expressing, you/we will also find that by putting yourself in places like this, you will in trying to help others find that you can help yourself because things don’t happen for no reason and you are one of the people meant to rise and take everyone to better places. Do things to your satisfaction if you do the workout thing, tell yourself that you are doing it for you…you will find the hidden treasures of existence here in your own soul. Keep room for a lovey, because it is required, imagine becoming something of twins, one with them in conscious alignment. Sorry if some of this is a bit all over the place, there is so much to put out and it is what it is…thanks, it helps me to see this stuff as well, good inspiration.
THANKYOU SO MUCH . YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HAVE MOTIVATED ME. RIGHT NOW I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS IN FRONT OF MY FAMILY, THEY WERE SUPPORTIVE EVEN FEW OF MY COUSINS CAN RELATE TO ME AT CERTAIN LEVEL. THEY UNDERSTAND MY INTROVERT PHASE BUT WHEN I TOLD THEM ABOUT THIS SOCIAL ANXIETY THING THEY WERE JUST SAYING. ITS ALL ABOUT CONFIDENCE AND THAT CAN BE OVERCOMED I AGREE BUT ITS JUST HARD. ANYWAY THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR THIS EFFORT IT TAKES A LOT TO TAKE OUT THIS MUCH TIME FOR A STRANGER. I WISH THE BEST FOR YOU.
Thankyou everyone 😩😩 I cant even explain how grateful i am for these replies. Once my college starts I’m gonna make you guys proud. And i mean it. I will try as much as i can. I will improve myself. Thankyou 😭
Hey, First of all, stop saying that you haven’t done anything. You must have something in you that makes you feel proud. You need to address yourself as a good personality and stop telling people that you are not capable of doing stuff. Stand in front of mirror and start talking to yourself, and practise your English. There are so many resources for you to improve your English. Start writing an essay everyday on any topic you want and say it in front of the mirror, make expressions, talk like no one is listening and try to observe changes in you. Enhance your personality.
I will. Trust me. I think about this a lot and Thankyou for making me realise this again. It’s me. I will change myself for myself. 😭🙌🏻