Hey, I am 15 years old an i am drowning. I am drowning in my own helplessness and insignificance. Everyday I have to see my mother slowly being consumed by her problems and I can’t do anything about it. Just being there for her is not enough. The only thing I can do is watch as the person I love is suffering.
I pretend that everything is ok that if don’t think about it much it won’t hurt ,but I feel like a burden to everyone, as if i was never born everyone’s life would have been esier, better. I am afraid that if I scream no one will hear. I often think about ending my life but then
remember how much that will hurt my family and friends. How can both your existance and your death be so painful. At the end of the day I find myself pathetic for feeling this way, for
self-pitying myself.
P.S. english is not my first language so I am sorry if I made any mistakes
hey, im gonna be honest. as i read your blog, i was shook that how can someone go through whatever i am going through as well? it is the exact same thing which i am facing right now. i can see how much you love her and how you give importance to everyone and prioritize them. you are halfway through the solution already, look around you. there are people who love you, but the times when you had thoughts like ending things- isn’t really gonna help you.
and now, i’ll tell you how i overcame this.
my family has been suffering financially for over a year now. i just wanna let you know that you’re not alone, my dear friend. and you said being there for your mom isn’t going to be enough? it is more than enough. and how you can help her stay stable is, sometime, just go to her, sit beside her, and ask her to cry out to her child (you). at least she’ll know that there is someone to hear her problems out. and if you’re still in school you can’t really do anything, right?
also, she is a mother. she will never expect you to give her back everything she gave you.
Go hold her hand, tell her what you have been feeling, ask her how she has been feeling and tell her that you love her, and would do anything if she needs help. It’ll make a difference. Trust me.
I hope you find this helpful!!
PS: your english is kinda better than mine, im gonna go get that grammar quiz right now, haha! LOVE YOU! 😆
Thank you!!❤️❤️
of course! text me if you wanna talk, i’ll be here!
Hey there. You’re just 15. You don’t need to have all the courage or be at a particular maturity level to face everything that life throws at you.
I can see that you are going through a tough time. Can I suggest you to find something that makes you happy? Even if it’s for only a short while. Like playing a game/watching a cooking show/taking a walk when you get overwhelmed.
Self pity won’t help you. It’ll only deter you from becoming the confident person that you are. Why do I say this? Coz I was someone who was living in self pity and victimised myself for no fault of mine. And hey, it’s okay to commit mistakes. No one is perfect.
Take one day at a time. Everyone has their own set of demons they are dealing with. How you see it is up to you. A giant can be seen as something to be made fun of or a small little vice can crush you like mountain. Think of the times you successfully navigated through your life’s challenges. That’ll give you the courage to fight against what you are facing.
Be patient. Nothing comes out of acting impulsively.
You are breathing. You matter. You are touching the lives of people everyday. That matters. More than anything, you know you matter. That should be a reason for you to live your life confidently.
All the best. Take care of yourself.
