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Anonymous

Hey guys, I hope you are doing well. So I have a really important doubt. I am 18y old and in 1st year of college. There is this girl who is very cute and sweet and before joining the college I always thought I will give her a try (she might be the one) and now I am very close to her. We do video calls every day, we sit together in College and many more, but don’t be confused we are still not in a relationship and deep down in our mind we both want to come together but just one thing hinders us the most and that thing is- Not able to focus on our work and goals and dreams. I don’t doubt her, she is amazing and very dedicated but when I see my other friends(who are in relationship) who were very active and had another level dreams are now just hanging around with the girls and just being able to manage the college grades only. I can see that they are very happy but deep down we all know that they are not focussing on the things they should be focusing on. I fear that if I go in relationship with this girl I might end up in the same situation. She always tells me take your time as a decision this big should not be taken in hurry. Most of the time when my friends ask why you 2 are not dating, she is like, I am toh always ready, your friend is the one dragging things which makes me realize she is ready for this but at the same time she also says it’s okay I have to do many things and work on my goals so I think if I date her it might not be good for both of us but at the same time I think but it is good.
In short I am confused, should I focus on short term gratification(just date my girl) or the long term goals or plans or should do both things simultaneously.
P.s- we are both from middle class family so goals are important and we both are fallen for each other which is kinda important too.
I would really appreciate someone’s opinion regarding this.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @oyechill
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3 replies
@khaleezi0001

If you really want to focus on your goals, go for it.
But make sure you don’t regret choosing it over love.
Don’t look at what others did with their life. You are different you could make things work. Have love and good grades at the same time.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @oyechill
@oyechill

managing career goals depends on how badly you want it or how dedicated you are , and relationships could be both a pro and a con … depends on how you two take it and make things work out . yea priorities do change after being in a relationship but you two could take this as an opportunity for strengthening the bond , and motivating each other <3 i have seen couples deviating from studies but i have also seen couples motivating each other and developing better individually as well as career wise so… depends on how you two prioritize and understand <3 as long as you two respect each other’s privacy ( career and study wise ) and prioritize studies and each other and be supportive, go on <3 all the best oyeee <3

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Anonymous

Since i’m in relationship so frm my point of view u can have both at the same time…my partner motivate me for my studies & motivate me to go to clg though he has cmplet his studies …if u think u vl not able to focus in ur studies then u should take ur time nd focus on ur goals…but at the same time u should never regrate it…but if u both can manage ur studies along wth being wth each other so surely u should go for it that’s my prespective…ol d best for ur future nd goals🤗

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