Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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⚕️Depression

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Anonymous

Hey everyone
I am just here to writing my story, my thoughts that i can’t share with anyone…!
I m 25 and never been into any relationship in my entire life…i don’t know even what love is? But some thoughts bothering me since last 2 years. So i just want to wrote it down so that i could feel somewhat light.
My reason of staying single was quite obvious that i never wanted short term relationship or anything just for time pass. I have a huge impact of mythological heroines so always wanted to b a one man lady…so never got fascinated with anyone and nor found anyone whom i could fall for.
But it was 2018 , 6 month after my graduation ended…things changed. I found someone very attractive (not by looks but by his qualities) on social media. He was average looking guy but had immense educational qualifications and intellect. I was strongly attracted towards his charm and intelligence.
Since childhood,as my interest always shifted for more intelligent person because i have been a inquisitive kind person , as a result i like someone of great intelligence too! Now he had became my crush. And hence we became frnds , we had few conversations ,we both were single and the best part was we both were of same community…and in a few days of our friendship we exchanged our contact (asked by him). …frankly speaking…it was like a dream come true…!!everything was going very smoothly and according to me…as if god were sitting beside me and fulfilling my every wish…things was going well… He was ditto the same person i ever imagined for as far as i got to know him. We even had a small conversation in W’app once …but as soon as we exchanged our number things started to get away from my favour…as i liked him…i purposely posted a status on W’app but when i checked the viewer list…he didn’t watch my story. .i was bit confused. Next day again i posted another story…but this time also he wasn’t a viewer of my status. So finally i saved his number on my mother’s phone just to make sure if his dp is visible to me or not…But his dp can be accessible from my mother’s phone too…from there i could understand that his dp and all infos from W’app was public and came to know that he didn’t even save my number in his phone and seriously that truth killed me! I never meant that important to him as he was for me.
Gradually his behavior towards me changed… he stopped showing any interest towards me (though he never showed that he too liked me) but as a friend too…he stopped messaging me , never ever tried to W’app me inspite of having my number (that he never saved ), stopped liking my picture, commenting on my posts, and reacting to my stories…literally he stopped doing everything from his side…but he replied me if i messaged him from my side! His behavior was quite confusing for me to understand . Later just after few months i saw his dp having a girl just beside him, saw his lovely comment on the same girl photos in her profile.

Now everything is clear to me that he got away from me coz he already had fallen for that girl who is extremely pretty and attractive too. Its been 2 years since then…We never had any conversation after that never even i tried…! Because i know ,his reply will definitely come but deep down i also know that he doesn’t feel the same i felt for him. I still feel sometimes for him!
For me he was like a king of my dream but i m not his queen…!!!
I was attracted towards him in such a way that i can’t get over from him since that day… i still have his number. .sometimes i delete it and when i got his strong desire then again saved his number…

It was very different feeling for him and i never ever felt the same for anyone. Literally for anyone…!! I feel some connections between us…but alas! he could feel the same i felt for him…I wish the feelings were mutual . Well i know this story sounds to b unamusing…but that’s the reason why i never shared it to anyone. I still can get him into my feeds but unfortunately i can’t express my feelings to him…! I must say…this wasn’t a love story but a one sided love story…that can’t b ever known by my crush…! It all was an adventurous journey…!!

Now i feel much better! Thank u for patience reading!

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @shalloman42
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8 replies
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Anonymous

Hello! Wow, thank you so much for sharing your story. I have through the same thing in my life where I’ve liked someone so much and then suddenly they stopped talking to me. It took me a lot of time to get over it and come out of a dark space, so I can understand what you went through. But there is one thing I learnt while reading your story and journey, that on a very serious note - we need to stop making other people a priority in our lives because they will end up taking you for granted and you will end up alone and stranded. If they don’t care about you or simply make you feel as if you’ve been replaced by someone else, then honestly they don’t deserve any space in your head.

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Anonymous

Hey thank u for your kind words and So true u said…! he just stopped doing something without giving me any reason…he was the one who first made me getting interested in him by giving certain hints…but wen i did my bit towards him he just started distancing himself…he could b my frnd atleast but he made me just a stranger to him…I eventually realised that i have wasted my entire 2 years in a hope that he will come one day n will talk to me atleast once …but he didn’t even bother to say atleast “hii” despite being my good frnd once… So now i too learn that not every infatuation can b called as love and now i completely stopped expecting anything from him… Also like he does,i too stopped liking his posts even muted him and now slowly his presence stopped affecting me…since it was my first experience it had to b special but its completely okay by not getting him…coz i know god has definitely made someone more deserving and better than him for me…So hope is on😁
Note- we should learn to respect and love ourself first !!

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Anonymous

YES YES YES! We need to learn to respect and love ourselves first!!! Absolutely. It’s amazing how you have muted him and are trying to get him out of your life completely. I had done this too. Earlier I used to think that I will always be stuck and will keep waiting for him to post stories etc. but suddenly one day, I stopped. It was the best feeling ever. Listen to this song - “I forgot that you existed” by Taylor Swift, it’s AMAZING! So proud of you girllll

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shalloman42

Gelo @shalloman42

Erm… Yes! Great story. As a guy, I did learned something from this. So, thank you for sharing your story.

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Anonymous

It is my pleasure that my story did some work for you…!

@aman002

Hii can I get in touch with you I seriously can connect to your story I have read ur story fully … amans22j@gmail.com this is my I’d
If you are comfortable please msg me I know you are not again want to hurt but I want a talk with you

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Anonymous

Hii can I get in touch with you I seriously can connect to your story I have read ur story fully … amans22j@gmail.com this is my I’d
If you are comfortable please msg me I know you are not again want to hurt but I want a talk with you

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Anonymous

Hey there thanks for sharing your story. It feels so good that I’m not the only one with such a story. But it’s true one sided love is the strongest of all but at a point you just have to let it go because after all you are a human too. You too need love and affection. I was in love with a guy just like you described an average looking guy with intellectual skills for more than four years. I can totally feel what you are goinf through right now. But trust me I have been there and the pain does fade away after a certain point of time. You just have to accept and let go of the fact that the person was not meant to be a part of your life.

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