Hey all ! It's my first time here. I've been studying for 10 whole years and now I'm a bit free. I would love to get to know people and help in any way I can. I don't really have many   friends and I tend to feel a bit lonely now and then. But I'm learning to love life and live happily.

Thanks. I hope everything is alright with you. Hope you have a wonderful day 

Haha thank you. It's nice to be acknowledged for the hard work  

Lonely

2 of my best friends are in the same class and I am in a different stream completely. Lately they've been meeting without me usually for class stuff but then it's not like they talk abt just that when they meet. And I get that I'm in a different college and stuff but they can atleast invite me and lemme say no if I don't wanna come. Like one part of me gets it. I don't NEED to be there. And I wld probably decline anyway lol but theres this stupid insecure part of me that just feels hurt.

Friends

Y is it like gals above 25 have a deadline feel mostly in India.....like within 25 yrs old u shud marry🙂

Feminism

Hôm nay tệ thật đấy, thực sự rất mệt mỏi
Tôi biết mình dở giao tiếp chứ, tôi còn sợ người lạ, sợ phải ra ngoài đường, không có tiếng cũng chẳng có miếng. Đáng lẽ chỉ cần đặt một dòng gì đấy nói rằng mình đủ 18t rồi thì ngta sẽ chấp nhận yêu cầu theo dõi của tôi thôi, nhưng tôi k làm thế, tại sao cơ, sao tôi không mạnh dạn đc như người khác.
Sách với chả truyện, tôi muốn mua nhiều lắm, muốn mua thật nhiều những tựa sách mình thích, nhưng k có tiền, thật chán nản, đôi khi tôi tự thấy thương hại bản thân, k biết từ bao giờ việc mua truyện với tôi lại trở thành thế này, ý tôi là ngày xưa mua một lúc nhiều lắm, cứ 2 tuần là mua 1 lần, truyện về đủ và tôi rất vui, nhưng giờ lại phải xếp sao cho mua những quyển có khả năng hết trước, suy với chả nghĩ thật mệt mỏi. Lại còn bản giới hạn, tôi bị cuốn vào dòng hải lưu mang tên bản giới hạn, tôi k nghĩ nó quan trọng gì đâu, cũng chỉ là quyển sách với chất liệu giấy khác, bìa khác, đẹp hơn, xịn hơn, chú thuật hồi chiến và veil, tôi muốn mua cả 2, nhưng veil thì k có tiền, nghèo khổ thật, chú thuật thì lại k đặt kịp, lẽ ra tôi có thể ra ngoài mà mua, nhưng lại sợ việc đi mua mà k có, những nhà sách khác thì ở xa, tôi k muốn ra ngoài tẹo nào, nên nghĩ là bản thường cũng được mà, cũng để đọc rồi cất đó, nó cũng chẳng phải quyển sách tranh mà có thể cuốn tôi mở ra xem lại. Nên tóm lại là bỏ đi cho nhẹ người, cũng chỉ là cuốn sách bình thường thôi, thay vì lấy tiền mua bản giới hạn, tôi sẽ lấy để mua truyện nhà trẻ, sẽ có ích hơn, cái gì cũng có ích cho tôi thôi nhưng truyện nhà trẻ khiến tôi vui lắm, kiểu vui vì nó nhẹ haha
Nói ra cũng nhẹ nhàng một chút, cảm ơn người tạo ra web, cả những người sẽ đọc được những dòng này của tôi, nói chung là nặng gánh cái gì quá thì cứ bỏ đi nhé, hơi khó chịu lúc đầu nhưng sau thì sẽ nhẹ hẳn thôi ♥️

Books

I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me. I don't know if i'm looking too much into it or if i'm finally giving into what people around me say. "there's something wrong with you" "you should be in a psych ward" like i got diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and autism and everytime i bring this up they say "depression, autism, and hormones" but I don't understand how i can go from so loving, outgoing, and happy one moment and then having a breakdown and crying the next. How my life feels together one moment and then the next it feels like it's crumbling and falling apart right in front of me but it's fine because in like 5 minutes or less i'll be fine once again and trying to happy go lucky once again. And it'll be like i didn't just have a terrible breakdown. How I get pissed off and have random burst of anger and irritation and annoyance. How I shut down over what feels like nothing but hey, come back in like a couple of minutes cause i'll be back to happy once again! How just an hour ago I wanted to die but now i'm on top of the world and my life couldn't get any better. I go from being a social butterfly and wanting to always be with my friends and loving them to hating myself and everyone else because they're annoying as hell and i can't stand to be around them let alone look at them. How I go from loving myself and having these obscure views of myself "I'm the hottest bitch in the world and no one deserves me. Everyone else is just pathetic." to "I hate myself. I'm a disgusting fucking piece of shit whore who deserves to die. I deserve to die. Everyone is disgusted by me." I get into these toxic relationship because i have these people telling me they love me and it's all i need to go chasing after them and ignore the fact they are gonna use and dump me in 2 months or so. Constantly on my hands and knees making sure they don't leave me and do everything they want me to do and begging for them to stay because i can't handle being alone and then I end up pushing them away and just not giving a shit when they leave so i get to be in control because i know i'll be a mess 
And i am-- i push them away and then i think "what did i do wrong. why did they leave me" 
and then i'm desperately looking for love from any source i can get it because it doesn't matter if it's good or bad and when i get it I latch onto it like cocaine 
And when i'm in love with someone i would fucking put that person before me because they are all that matters
I'd push away all my friends and family just to make them happy and do the most disgusting things if it means they'll stay 
But it's just hormones 
It's just depression 
it's just autism 


Autism

Hey, is anyone up for a convo?Just wanna make friends✌🏽❤

If i take her actions to my ego or to my attitude then i am a failed lover which i never gonna do . I will compromise on my self respect 🫡 . I myself confused if someone in my family shouts at me and that kick my ego I don’t talk to anyone untill they come to say sorry . I am being treated special by family but pyar ka dastoor kuch aur hi hai rajey . Then if you pasandida ladki kicks you wo b seh leta hai insan . If i count my efforts in this relations they are infinite just because i always say ladki hai she deserve more love . 

3am Thoughts

I am having anxiety 😭😭😭😭😭

Anxiety

I do not have anyone to talk freely not even my parents, i feel useless ,i have lost interest in all things. Even studies seem worthless even though I have endsem exams in next 20 hrs and i am still unprepared. I cant start studying for some reason. I dont fear death anymore, i feel it is okay if I die now because everyone and everything is of no interest.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts