Recently something has shaken me and that is I have suddenly noticed that my girlfriend is a malignant narcissist. We have been together for a long time now and you may ask now you are noticing her? Truth is that back in our university days, it used to be only us and no other friends. And I used to trust and depend a lot on her. I also spent a lot of time with her so that she never feels lonely as none of her friends gave a shit about her. So, her narcissism was not this much severe back then. Now that, we both are in a job, some of her suppressed personality traits are coming out. She is more arrogant, more egoistic now. I noticed that whenever I was called for a job interview, or I was offered a job; she would become very grumpy. And when I drop out of the vivas, she would actually talk about it pretty happily. She pretends that she likes people. But as soon as someone picks up a little fight with her, she starts hating them with everything. Surprisingly, she would also try to appeal to them, appear as a nice person in front of them so that they might praise her. Moreover, a student has a crush on her and for weeks now, I am sure that she is talking romantically with that student. I tried to talk to her but she keeps lying. I love her a lot but she never appreciated neither my love nor my friendship. I am noticing that she only values other peoples thoughts about her even if it is not beneficial for her. What pains me most that I have been taken for granted for so long despite how much I have tried for her.
It is scary to see that the person I love is not the person I thought to be, the person she appeared to be. I am scared because I still love her. But things are not looking good as days are going by.
I am very confused about how to process it all.
Hi, my ex was the exact same. He was so toxic and never used to be happy for my success. He always just wanted what was the best for him and was a complete narcissist and just wanted me to be there for him.
I realised this after years that I’m being taken for granted and that I need to get away from this situation. I deserved better. It took me a while but I did end things with him. I chose myself and I think you should do so too.