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Anonymous
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Hello,
Last month I got to know that my only best friend & the guy whom I loved(I met this guy through my best friend, they two know each other since 8years) bitched about me with few of their friends(respectively & also together with other friends) I got to know about this from that guy. Currently, they two are not close friends anymore (the guy & my best friend). This really hurts me alot whenever I think about it & also end up crying at times.

I also knew these two were attracted towards eachother during their high school. In between I broke up with that guy & he had a thought of dating my best friend (his answer was we both had a bond from beginning so it will be easy for us to date). This though is very disturbing for me. The worst thing is both of them are not even guilty about this.

Currently, I’m not talking to both of them. I had confronted my best friend about this & she had denied this. I need your help with letting go them completely from my life, mind & heart. Because of these thoughts I behave rude with my family members. It make me feel really bad about myself.

Please help
Thank you!!

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Anonymous

I will tell you an honest truth.
I fell in love with a guy during high school. I studied far from home so I stayed in a paying guest with another room-mate to whom I gradually got very close with and as days passed we became sisters. We shared all our secrets and I opened a lot about me to her, especially about my fear of getting hurt by people I trust because of which I hardly had many friends. I can say my friends I made were best indeed.
I had to come home for family reasons and not before a month I could return. The guy I loved was close to my then room-mate too as she tagged along everywhere and they hung out quite a lot. I didn’t mind. I believed in the formula “trust and love are companions” and I still do.
So, when I returned I didn’t suspect a thing that might have gone wrong but then I found out they slept together quite a lot of times, and my ex-‘lover’ fantasied about her a lot and she about him.
Now the honest truth- I broke down completely.
I suffered, cried, hated them, cursed them - all in my room because I couldn’t face them. I was hurt.
It took me time and it will take you time too after all when you love someone you invest a lot in them, especially your faith in them, the feelings, ‘the heart’. But there is always you and hear me when I say this, ‘In your life story, you are the protagonist and all others are side characters. Everyone. And it’s all about the protagonist’s will to alter the story of their life’ - said by my fiance.
Now, here is my advice -
Give one day to yourself and that love. Cry, shout, curse to your fullest. Force it out and the next day stop. It will pain and you will want to cry and be moody but don’t. You can watch an extra movie, or give yourself a chance, probably a hair color or a workout session, or start reading a book or learn a new instrument. Keep yourself busy, don’t let your mind wander because it gets worse.

Honestly, it’s hard for me to bring this topic up because of the anger I feel or how embarrassed I am about it but I am happy I crafted myself strong. You can too.

(“This was too much talking on my side, isn’t it? Heh!”)