Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

hello everyone,

i was a very positive, happy go lucky& funny kind of a person, everything in life was perfect till i was 28 yrs old. Had a great family, had good education abroad, travelled the world and had finally found my soul mate after years of on & off relationships, it was a long distance relationship of more than 3 years and i was the most honest, loyal kind of guy, never cheated on her even though i lived abroad. coming from a conservative family even managed to convince my parents for the inter caste marriage. everything was what dreams were made of. But suddenly my world falls apart, my relationship ended and on a bad note because the girl coudnt convince her parents, i waited for her to make things alright for more than 3 years she couldnt, went into depression, felt all the more lonely and isolated abroad, left a great life in canada and came back to india because couldnt handle things anymore.

There is more drama later on but interval toh banta hai…

reached india meet family and friends everything was nice and comforting for a while then my family knew that my relationship had no future so tried to make me understand that i need to move forward in life and the only that was possible in their eyes was getting marrried, i told them i was not ready yet but you know how parents work they kept on bombarding me with 100’s of suitable girls of reputable families with good bachground, job and stuff but i somehow still had hope regarding my ex because i knew always that she loved mee but didnt had the courage to stand in front of her father and make them understand, i always fooled myself with the idea that one day she will have the courage and make everything alright, soooo kept on saying nooooo to the ristaa’s (propective brides) and always tried to give her time.
One day there was a girl whom dad told me about and give me her number to talk over the phone and see whether i like her or not, as sooon as i heard her voice she came across as a simple girl with simple thoughts nothing flashy just simple and elegant, since i m not a liar and didnt wanted to keep her in dark about my past, so after talking to her for sometime i thought telling her about my past is necessary since the whole world knows about my sooo called popular love affair. she responded to all this nicely which was contrary to my expectations and had nothing to say after that which i hung up.

After 1 or 2 days i found out that the girl had said yes to mee for the marriage because she found me attractive and nice to talk to and i for once even tho i always find out some reason or the other to say no, this time i couldnt find a single reason and kept quiet and but still i didnt wanted to marry her.
A meeting was arranged and forcefully i had to go their to meet her bcz of family pressure, i meet her she seem to be exactly as i thought her to be, she was simple, nice sweet kinda stuff, sooo family kept on asking me what was my opinion of her but i being blind in love said no, hearing this there was a huge drama in the house since evryone in the family liked her and knew i was just saying no bcoz of my ex, there was huge drama that night with dad saying he is sick and tired of me saying no all the time to good girls, and i dont love them and all i care about is that girl(ex), he even threatened to commit suicide if i dont agree this time…yes this sort of thing still happen in india…

with sooo much pressure and drama around me, i finally gave in bcoz i knew somehow that my ex was not capable enough to set everything right bcoz i already gave her 3 yrs to do all this and if 3 isnt enough nothing will be…

Rokkaaa(its not engagement) but somehow similar was done and i told my ex that i cant give her more time and forget me forever, she refused all this and kept on calling me everyday, she even used to send me screenshots(she did some research) of my so called to be wife that she is having an affair with a boy and stuff, even though all this stuff doesnt affect me like having an affair, but my ex always kept on calling me and tried to make me understand that this girl is not right for me and i should give her sometime so that she controls her dad,

i used to speak to my so called fiance once or twice a week and always spoke to her with respect and honesty. Even tho she was nice and sweet but couldnt love her ever, and my ex was always there to fuck my mind, sooooo just 2 months before our propsed marriage my would be life canceled the wedding bcoz she had someone in her life and was getting married bcoz of family reputation and all that…

fucked again…

even tho i wasnt to sad after all this but still something affected me tht she should hve been honest to meeeee bcoz i was… sooo this is how life is fucks you when you dont want it to, and leaves you on the ground…

and all this happened about 1.4 yrs ago…soo just imagine ab kya chal raha hogaaaaaa…my be another post for that.