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@aaichael

Hello everyone, I am new to these forums, I am a relationship and soul mate enthusiast and have always sort of perceived a greater oneness between the genders and that the relationship was the ultimate thing. I never have been able to find the one yet, I always have the thing where one is seemingly more interested than the other one but I have started to alter my perception of beauty and considered things like what the girl will look like to me, in the environment that really matches her and the life that is done together, I am looking totally for that soul mate but the biggest problem is I have all these ideas of the oneness we should have, you know where we sort of have the same soul and spirit between us and our minds are completely aligned and we are truly in the same state as each other and are therefore predictable and consistent, where we purposely take time to go a little deeper, intentionally to get to that common soul root that we share, where we are as close as the child we have together, where we are truly one person. I was wondering what other people thought about the idea of things like having one profession that both people are equal partners in, having things like a double wide casket so that we are never alone and always nearby, things like sharing a common spirit and belief system between us. In fact, I was thinking about getting married and then in the spirit of that Marry, conceiving of a common understanding of the religion, such that it is like an immaculate conception, where we give birth to the same ideas of the God/Spirit between the two of us. I don’t want people or girls to think I am weird because I think about this stuff a lot trying to bring out my strengths and make myself comfortable to talk about them. I am a lot like that Heart Attack song by Demi Lovato, where I think if I ever fell in love, I would just die, plain and simple, emotional overload, beyond the ability to handle it. I figure the soul mate thing is good to talk about and here is a good practice it, so that when the time comes, I don’t have to have a dagger, straight to the heart…Thanks for any that respond with ideas…oh, I have a ton on this and maybe we can start a little chain that goes to the very depths of the soul for boys and girls on this topic. I wonder if two people could be consciously unified such that they could be in each others dreams, I was watching a video on witchcraft (I like all spirituality that I like) and a girl was saying about entering into peoples dreams, I wonder whether it could be mutual…Anyways, have a nice Sunday night, I will be working on my profile and will interact as well…

Michael

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youareimportant
@youareimportant

Hey, you seem very spiritual by your saying. I think you are over thinking a lot right now and you need to actually come in the real world, and experience things like be open to find love that you are looking for. I might be wrong but are you kind of insecure about love/fear of losing it or something?

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@aaichael

I have the biggest problem with acting normal around a romantic interest. If I am say, hanging out with a girlfriend of someone who I know for sure is not available for me, she always loves my personality and we get along well. If I am with someone who I am interested in, I freeze up, am like outside of myself looking at myself and feel awkward and come up with all the synthetic, what music do you like, what is your favorite food, etc and am so guarded that I can’t get into any connective type of mode and actually can feel myself slanting away from any significant communication to guard my fragile self. It is something like someone seeing the true person of me and the risk of possible non-favorable outcomes. I never asked a girl for her phone number until I was 27 and I had a few serious relationships, met through friends. I am most certainly afraid of the whole love connection and as a result spent a lot of time listening to R&B songs and depressing myself, especially throughout my military time. I really have always dreamed of all the cuddling, camping and doing everything together, I have so much built up on it, like it is my soul mission in life and I have begun to develop ways to sort of get around it. A few of them are doing online dating type things, where I advertise to be friends regardless and to aim for that and to take a good long time to found everything and then also to do like, double dates so that there is more ease and comfort about it and these are good ideas I think and are getting towards there. I am very healthy, vegetarian, exercise regularly and have been refining myself by reading books by female authors, watching youtube videos and Ted-Talks and sort of becoming that person that likes themself truly, figuring the perfect one will like that. I have changed my way of dress and appeal to match what I like and have changed my style of home decoration to match the inside of my heart such that it is just for me and that special her, where she will look at my things and say, this looks like me and I will say, it is you, move on in…haha. Anyways, yes fear is the thing and then topped off with a healthy duration of it and self-depression that like I was saying above, is getting a little better by starting to take the steps up to that special person and being open to conformation to the ideal relationship, where I don’t change unfairly, but grow into the best person ever, as if she were a carrot on a stick, leading me to paradise, it helps, it is like counting it as guaranteed and as long as I am doing things to get there, it seems fair and right to do. I have also started journaling a bit and righting and narrating the path to her, so she can read details about the journey to her and what her future love was in my life, on the way to finding her. Thanks for responding.

youareimportant
@youareimportant

No problem.you have very deep positive thoughts…and i admire you for bringing your inner self and its perfectly fine to change and bring changes over time. And yes, take your time…do what soothes you. Try approaching girls that you like. Try making/finding that connection from both sides.
I will say to build a mindset that its ok if that girl says no or friend zone you. Practise your words in front of mirror before going out with a girl. Try not to think too much about settling down at first. Give things some time and let it go with a good flow. Try to find love from other side too because you are important too in a relationship and you need care, affection and love too from the other side.

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@aaichael

Thanks, that is nice of you, it helps a lot and I think that mirror thing is great advice.

youareimportant
@youareimportant

No problem and yah…
Try some strategies:) and see the change coming your way.