Hello everybody,I am here because I really need someone to talk to.Since I was a child I had always been this very shy kid…and it was not that severe.But then as I grew older,I started learning that the world is not an easy place to live in.I started to become aware of how others see me,and if I talk to them,I’m afraid they’ll talk about how shy I am,later when I’m not around.I hate going to school because that’s where everyone is friends with everyone.I would be that person who would just look at the other students laughing and chatting with each other.I would cry every day after I come home.I tried telling the one person who I trust so very much about how I feel,but she doesn’t understand me.It really hurts because I want someone,atleast one person to be able to understand how I feel.
My father would compare me with other kids,that always makes me feel bad.My family asks me to go do this and that outside so that I won’t be this shy anymore.I know they want the best for me,but even small things like just buying things outside is suffocating for me.I would be so proud of myself if I succeed in buying the things.
And also sometimes,I will get all sort of thoughts,“What was the point of me being born?I don’t do anything,I just make my family worry,I make them angry,I make them dissapointed,there’s no meaning for me to be here”.But I don’t want to suicide either.I just wish I would be able to fix this someday.
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