Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night is a very old human need."

3am Thoughts

How this app works ! 
how to get username ! 
change profile ? 
anyone 

Overthinking

Being big brother to your younger brother is blessing,
We (eldest brother) are second important after dad in family,
Though we don’t get much love, coz all of love are taken away by younger ones 😂
That’s kinda of cute we love to see happy faces of our family.
But sometimes we need some extra care too.

If we ever get sad or hurt our whole family gets tensed
We are never praised for our good-work but it’s understandable because we are doing it for our family we don’t expect much.

To all big brothers/sister (including me)
Virtual hug to you 🫂 

Finally after a long time I started my day in a planned manner. It feels so good🙈.

Happy

TW: Suicide
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Hello everyone, I am new here.
I suffer from BPD and have attempted suicide three times in my life.
I lived through 14 years of domestic abuse which warped my mind, then I worked selling things on the streets to afford food. I have known nothing but pain and misery. Most importantly, all the people that I have ever loved are gone, they always give up on me because I am too much. The latest was last week, where my partner and best friend of 12 years left out of the blue one day insisting that I am too emotional when I am hurt, I had plans with him and life, his family became mine too and that was all I had to look forward to.
Now I can tell you I have nothing and no one, no friends, and no family of my own.
I thought of suicide again but I managed to endure with the help of emergency lines, nevertheless, I still feel lost, broken, and alone.
Since I was younger I was waiting for things to get better and I thought sure it will happen soon, and it never did, and every time it seems like it is close it just disappears.
So I can tell you this, if you feel as useless, broken, alone, lost and that you are not enough for everyone; I cannot tell you things will improve, I can just tell you, you are not the only one.

Suicidal Ideation

Letters to nowhere......Self-healing....  I tasted Salt and Gold again. I almost broke. I had to calm my mind. The wounds were deeply open for some reason. By the evening I was much better, I didn't feel disgust anymore. I was able to rise higher, out from hate and self-pity. It's in me, I know. Dormant. Do I suppress it? Yes. Can I do something else? No. Repression is not healthy, but it's a broken part of me that is uncontrollable and dangerous. This is what time has done to me. This is what my own stupid head, brain, thought, desire, fantasy did to me. I'm only the healthy whole when I suppress this. Because I don't know how to kill this out from myself. Maybe with Love? Unfortunately, I'm afraid to fall in love again. However until then, my emotional energy connected to this and will not be released. And this is slowly turning into hatred. I don't know anyone I can love with Love. I couldn't even love him anymore. There's just some perverse tension in the silence between us. I hate that too. I had to put my Venus on the bench. Or I'd rather bury it forever. A voice deep down tells me to look out for love, but I don't know if I can listen to it? Because I don't know what calls me. Illusion or Truth.

29/11/2022

Addiction

I don't know how many of you relate to this, when we were kids and we had dreamt of achieving certain goals by a certain age but now we have hit that "certain age" and have achieved 0 of the total goals. It is extremely frustrating when we try and try but not reaching anywhere.

Anxiety

Seeing these large paragraphs ppl write for the ones they don't even know - makes me feel like there's still loads of humanity alive - like bruh THAT'S TOO GOOD AND ENOUGH TO WARM MY HEART UP ..!! yall so sweet and Ily <3

Caregiver

I don't know what I am doing with my life. Everyone seems to have figured it out, and even if they haven't, they don't really seem to care much about it. I don't know what to do.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts