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Having been raised in a small town, things like dating and romance were not exactly encouraged and so I refrained myself a lot. I still fell for someone in high school but he didn’t feel the same way, he approached me later on but I had already moved on. Later on, I fell for a colleague and this guy isn’t ready for relationships and we are still best friends. And most recently, I met someone over arranged marriage set up and it was the same story all over again with the additional complexity of this guy being a total asshole. Also, I fell for him quite fast and I had a lot of trouble understanding this and couldn’t express it to him early on - I guess love is actually blind. Having said this, I’ve been approached by a few but I didn’t feel the same way about them. Only now, I have realized that I should be more open to exploring this side of me. I am seeing this guy now in an arranged marriage setup but I am not sure how I feel about him because I don’t know if I am over the last guy yet (It has only been a month since he ghosted me). This new guy is really nice but I’m having trouble collecting my emotions as I am a very sensitive and sentimental sort of person. Should I be open about what I have been through to the new guy? Also, how can we fall for someone so fast? It still worries me and I have a lot of trouble processing and understanding all these emotions.

1 reply

From the guy’s POV, he must be putting efforts to create a bond with you. He must be seriously looking for a partner.
Take some time for yourself. Figure out if you are ready for the relationship. If you are ready to be with someone. Such questions need to be answered on your end first. Figure out yourself first.
Then arrange a meeting with him. Tell him clearly and respectfully about your feelings. Ask for his opinion.

There is no way to tell if we can fall for someone or not. This is a process and it takes it own time. Be patient, be clear to yourself, be open.

One-sided is ok. It’s ok if the other person doesn’t feel the same for you, but having him/her as a good friend would be bliss!


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