Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Lol! Bro in sorry to say but you’re so wrong. You should take a psycology class in narcissism and you’ll know why what you’re suggesting is a death trap you’re sending her to. You shoud move on @prachi because the more time you waste on such minute details of people who only give you pain. And it was good till it was, now that it’s not you shouldn’t have to keep that person unblocked or blocked. Do as you please, but then stick to your decision because if you don’t, you’ll regret It in the end. Because we can only control and manage ourselves, we have no control over what others do. If you don’t block him and he decides to stay away for a while and give you your space, great what if he relapses and wants to talk but isn’t sure if he’ll know how to respect and be cordial the next day, what are you going to do then. He’ll just leave you hanging and then again you’ll be contemplating the same shit but in a worse mindset for yourself, thinking how could you fall for the same shit again and get hurt again. This is a game and almost all boys play them until you can see they’re transparent and accountable, they’re boys and children playing a win or lose game and I swear its coercive control. Go read on the things you’re talking about. You’re just a Google search away from finding legit articles and videos of doctors, counselors explaining it. And yes you are right, it is toxic. Don’t listen to people like these who invalidate your reality and say shit like " don’t pamper, her, let her be strong" strong for who a man that manipulates and dehumanize you! Gurl! You’re not his mother or anyone who should be obliged to stay for sorry asses like these. I am sorry I won’t seem very friendly or sweet saying all I’ve said, and I don’t care because I’ve gone through my fair share of mistaking toxic people and patterns for "oh we’re being tested/ I should stick around cause I love them etc etc etc blah blah blah and beleive me the abuse and manipulation and games only keep increasing the more you keep tolerating. So. A big MIDDLE finger to people who those who misdirect people in the name of “being strong” “toughen up” and what not. Believe me either you are living in a delusion and unable to accept your own reality or you’ve never been in any relationship that’s hard and toxic and mindfu*king. It’s not running from things sometimes, it’s moving away from things or people, retracting yourself froma situation that helps us not be toxic, we should watch what were doing because in the end we can’t decide for others or beg them or make them do anything, and not taking responsibility of our own lives and to not put ourselves through other people’s shit is our responsibility. And if we don’t see that now, we’ll only become of vicitm mentality. And then we’ll blame everyone but ourselves for our misery for our own bad decisions we took in the name of love and loyality and being strong and what not. Rather than seeing things for what they are and accepting them. Whether it is keeping him blocked or not. Educate yourself about yourself, why you aren’t able to let him go when he’s let you go now. He might be a troubled person himself and for what you’ve told me about him I don’t think he’s good for you. Especially the having many women and showing their texts to you to flaunt… That’s so blatant and toxic shit I can’t lie. But there’s much only you know, so be wise. Don’t do this to stay strong bro don’t! Don’t play the game of power and control, no matter how nice you’re intentions are. it won’t help the guy, it won’t help you and itll only drive you to hate each other/ resent each other. If it’s only you who’s willing to work on this relationship and be with him. I think that should be enough a reason for yourself to leave anyone, because there can be no relationship where two people don’t meet halfway. One person will always feel like they’re a doormat and the other will feel like they’re not getting enough or maybe they’ll think they’re tired of the sad partner and leave or similar ideas. So make sure to ask yourself questions like what all he’s done to hurt you and then what he’s done that makes you feel loved. And then you’ll know if you should stay or not because just keeping the person unblocked and waiting for them to contact you. And don’t worry you’re not crazy to not want to block the person you loved because people aren’t inherently vengeful. Some people want to take the better, non-conflict route so we don’t hurt people who we love. But remember not everyone is the same and that’s all we need to remember. They cold just ve everything we thought didn’t exist. So just educate yourself, maybe mute notifications if you can’t block the guy. Take your time. You have no obligation to anyone to answer quickly and be there all the time. Take your time, take time with yourself and when your comfortable then talk or take a decision that you’re sure about. And go watch videos of types of toxic relationships etc or just Dr. Todd grande, dr ramini, etc on YouTube they’ll have much data you’ll need to understand about. Stay safe. Don’t hurry, be patient with yourself and be selective and wise about who’s suggestions you take. There are many enablers. Detach yourself emotionally as well if you need, that’s what mostly keeps us stuck with people because we are being stubborn and we don’t want to hear what they say, see what they are and we project the goodness onto them. Don’t do that to yourself please. You’re important, your well being and needs are as important as any oher person and you should treat yourself Especially good so you feel good and you treat others well and when they don’t, you can leave, excuse yourself etc so you don’t give them a reaction to be hurt by or start a toxic cycle. Your job is to be the best you and give yourself people and environment that it deserves to grow into the person it wants to. Rather than waste our lives on other people. It’s a pointless excercise and I’m sure you don’t, nobody wants their life to have gone wasted on a person who’ll leave, manipulate, cheat, play games at the first they’ll get

I have seen videos by Dr Ramani and those were eye opening and that’s how I got to know what I was going through. I want to move on and that is good for me. But my issue is I cannot block him. Even if I do, I unblock after some time so he knows I get weak so I dont want to give him any satisfaction of seeing me in pain
I am working on moving on in my life and being happy each and every day. But I feel bad that I am unable to be so strong as to totally remove him from my life

I am not sure but I know that I don’t want to be in the block unblock cycle and let him know that I think about him or that he affects me still. But I want to have peace an move on in life

Couldn’t agree more with you pal @sanjain. That guy has to be out of her life for her to be happy. Why do we complicate things when it can be made easier! Just my thought. Block and move on. Life happens to everyone. You can’t keep supporting the people who broke you.
If she loves and respects herself, she will block him and focus on her happiness.

Prachi. I have been in this loop. I hope you find courage to break this vicious cycle of suffering and do what’s best for you. It’s time to close that chapter dear. Trust yourself. You will get through if you cut him off and focus on yourself. I did it and I am so much at peace and happy with my life. You won’t regret it. Watch some more videos on psychology to understand why you are getting pulled to someone so toxic. Work on changing your attachment pattern.
There is someone just right for you who’s waiting for you to work on yourself, heal yourself and reach to him.
Checkout Mathew Hussey’s videos on Youtube. It has helped me a lot. Good luck.