Prachi @p212
Had a toxic relationship
Emotional turmoil was too much for me while he lived happily and had multiple relationships at a time and always said that I was the only one in his life while sending me screenshot of different girls, who he said weβre is ex, telling him that they loved him or proposing him for marriage.
Went through the on-off thing many times
Told him that soon I will block him
For the past couple of months had negligible contact. Was able to move forward and think about myself. Be happy in my life.
Then he msged saying he suffered heart attack and I felt bad and cried a lot but didnβt keep msging him as I didnβt want to get attached again.
Yesterday he msged saying he is better now, taking rest and now I was free to block him as I wanted to and was waiting for him to feel better.
Now that he told me that I could block him I donβt want to do that.
I know this is toxic and it drains me and affects me a lot yet I donβt know why I cannot remove him from my life and live like he doesnβt exist.
Any help on this?
Deleted @anxius_mizlost
Lol! Bro in sorry to say but youβre so wrong. You should take a psycology class in narcissism and youβll know why what youβre suggesting is a death trap youβre sending her to. You shoud move on @prachi because the more time you waste on such minute details of people who only give you pain. And it was good till it was, now that itβs not you shouldnβt have to keep that person unblocked or blocked. Do as you please, but then stick to your decision because if you donβt, youβll regret It in the end. Because we can only control and manage ourselves, we have no control over what others do. If you donβt block him and he decides to stay away for a while and give you your space, great what if he relapses and wants to talk but isnβt sure if heβll know how to respect and be cordial the next day, what are you going to do then. Heβll just leave you hanging and then again youβll be contemplating the same shit but in a worse mindset for yourself, thinking how could you fall for the same shit again and get hurt again. This is a game and almost all boys play them until you can see theyβre transparent and accountable, theyβre boys and children playing a win or lose game and I swear its coercive control. Go read on the things youβre talking about. Youβre just a Google search away from finding legit articles and videos of doctors, counselors explaining it. And yes you are right, it is toxic. Donβt listen to people like these who invalidate your reality and say shit like " donβt pamper, her, let her be strong" strong for who a man that manipulates and dehumanize you! Gurl! Youβre not his mother or anyone who should be obliged to stay for sorry asses like these. I am sorry I wonβt seem very friendly or sweet saying all Iβve said, and I donβt care because Iβve gone through my fair share of mistaking toxic people and patterns for "oh weβre being tested/ I should stick around cause I love them etc etc etc blah blah blah and beleive me the abuse and manipulation and games only keep increasing the more you keep tolerating. So. A big MIDDLE finger to people who those who misdirect people in the name of βbeing strongβ βtoughen upβ and what not. Believe me either you are living in a delusion and unable to accept your own reality or youβve never been in any relationship thatβs hard and toxic and mindfu*king. Itβs not running from things sometimes, itβs moving away from things or people, retracting yourself froma situation that helps us not be toxic, we should watch what were doing because in the end we canβt decide for others or beg them or make them do anything, and not taking responsibility of our own lives and to not put ourselves through other peopleβs shit is our responsibility. And if we donβt see that now, weβll only become of vicitm mentality. And then weβll blame everyone but ourselves for our misery for our own bad decisions we took in the name of love and loyality and being strong and what not. Rather than seeing things for what they are and accepting them. Whether it is keeping him blocked or not. Educate yourself about yourself, why you arenβt able to let him go when heβs let you go now. He might be a troubled person himself and for what youβve told me about him I donβt think heβs good for you. Especially the having many women and showing their texts to you to flauntβ¦ Thatβs so blatant and toxic shit I canβt lie. But thereβs much only you know, so be wise. Donβt do this to stay strong bro donβt! Donβt play the game of power and control, no matter how nice youβre intentions are. it wonβt help the guy, it wonβt help you and itll only drive you to hate each other/ resent each other. If itβs only you whoβs willing to work on this relationship and be with him. I think that should be enough a reason for yourself to leave anyone, because there can be no relationship where two people donβt meet halfway. One person will always feel like theyβre a doormat and the other will feel like theyβre not getting enough or maybe theyβll think theyβre tired of the sad partner and leave or similar ideas. So make sure to ask yourself questions like what all heβs done to hurt you and then what heβs done that makes you feel loved. And then youβll know if you should stay or not because just keeping the person unblocked and waiting for them to contact you. And donβt worry youβre not crazy to not want to block the person you loved because people arenβt inherently vengeful. Some people want to take the better, non-conflict route so we donβt hurt people who we love. But remember not everyone is the same and thatβs all we need to remember. They cold just ve everything we thought didnβt exist. So just educate yourself, maybe mute notifications if you canβt block the guy. Take your time. You have no obligation to anyone to answer quickly and be there all the time. Take your time, take time with yourself and when your comfortable then talk or take a decision that youβre sure about. And go watch videos of types of toxic relationships etc or just Dr. Todd grande, dr ramini, etc on YouTube theyβll have much data youβll need to understand about. Stay safe. Donβt hurry, be patient with yourself and be selective and wise about whoβs suggestions you take. There are many enablers. Detach yourself emotionally as well if you need, thatβs what mostly keeps us stuck with people because we are being stubborn and we donβt want to hear what they say, see what they are and we project the goodness onto them. Donβt do that to yourself please. Youβre important, your well being and needs are as important as any oher person and you should treat yourself Especially good so you feel good and you treat others well and when they donβt, you can leave, excuse yourself etc so you donβt give them a reaction to be hurt by or start a toxic cycle. Your job is to be the best you and give yourself people and environment that it deserves to grow into the person it wants to. Rather than waste our lives on other people. Itβs a pointless excercise and Iβm sure you donβt, nobody wants their life to have gone wasted on a person whoβll leave, manipulate, cheat, play games at the first theyβll get
Prachi @p212
I have seen videos by Dr Ramani and those were eye opening and thatβs how I got to know what I was going through. I want to move on and that is good for me. But my issue is I cannot block him. Even if I do, I unblock after some time so he knows I get weak so I dont want to give him any satisfaction of seeing me in pain
I am working on moving on in my life and being happy each and every day. But I feel bad that I am unable to be so strong as to totally remove him from my life
Prachi @p212
I am not sure but I know that I donβt want to be in the block unblock cycle and let him know that I think about him or that he affects me still. But I want to have peace an move on in life
Couldnβt agree more with you pal @sanjain. That guy has to be out of her life for her to be happy. Why do we complicate things when it can be made easier! Just my thought. Block and move on. Life happens to everyone. You canβt keep supporting the people who broke you.
If she loves and respects herself, she will block him and focus on her happiness.
Prachi. I have been in this loop. I hope you find courage to break this vicious cycle of suffering and do whatβs best for you. Itβs time to close that chapter dear. Trust yourself. You will get through if you cut him off and focus on yourself. I did it and I am so much at peace and happy with my life. You wonβt regret it. Watch some more videos on psychology to understand why you are getting pulled to someone so toxic. Work on changing your attachment pattern.
There is someone just right for you whoβs waiting for you to work on yourself, heal yourself and reach to him.
Checkout Mathew Husseyβs videos on Youtube. It has helped me a lot. Good luck.