Guys, I am in a situation where I have got a rishta for arrange marriageโฆ The boyโs parents are no more, he has no financial backup except for his jobโฆ we are not sure how he spends moneyโฆ He has done his diploma that is the only qualification he hasโฆ on the other hand I have reached till CA -final and currently working in a renowned organization where I will be promoted soonโฆ after promotion my salary will be almost the same as himโฆ There was a time where my family was facing financial issues and nobody helpedโฆ I have seen the bad days but through my job and Hard work I am financially in a good position nowโฆ If I choose to marry this guy I will be back to where I used to be financially because since he needs to start from the beginning so I have to contribute everythingโฆ The boy seems good I talked to him yesterday on a call but my mind is not ready to accept all the responsibilities and financial Crises coming along with himโฆ I have some dreams in life for which i am saving moneyโฆ that I canโt fulfill if i chose to marry him considering his financial situation. What shall I do?
Appu Kannan @rajiv_ryan9
Please do whatever your mind telling. Ask yourself.
donโt do the marriage when your heart and mind is not ready
it will make your and his life complicated
If you are in confusionโฆ Donโt take the decision. I think you should delay the marriage for nowโฆ Focus on yourself firstโฆ
A bit complicated โฆ
If u go in this reality and considering this harsh world, money does matter a lot and that too when we have struggled a lot to reach a stage where we can think off stabilizing our life .
Look for someone who is more stabilized , more importantly a good person so that you dont have to compromise either on ur family side or his .
Trust your vibes and calculations. Only you the best for you and your family and there is no harm thinking in long run :)
Hope , you get to right decision .Take care !!
If I think about the long run then it might turn out emotionally and financially draining for meโฆ I have been through financial crises where I have compromised many things in life where no-one helped my family in that situation. i am independent now where i can save my money, spend it on my dreamsโฆ If I go with this marriage then all my money will be given for the sake of that marriage and IDK where will I stand in future because the guy has no financial backup in case of any emergencyโฆ I can atleast ask my parents for helpโฆ he has no choiceโฆ the guy is nice but I canโt judge him basis one conversationโฆ I think i should take a stand for myself this time though I need someone in lifeโฆ my choices today will affect my futureโฆ
If it would be a love marriage then you should have married him irrespective of financial condition and might grow togather. Now you have choice you can choose whatโs best for u
Zara Zulfia ๐ฆ @zara_zulfi...
Me too Iโm also ca student
Dartmouth @mortalzar
Observe his historyโฆitโs fine to start at less salaryโฆ everyone goes thro this in initial phase of the careerโฆ
What u shall look for is how high he excelled in his career from the starting point. If after working so many years in the industry he is still at the same level or have meagre hike or growthโฆthen there must be the reasonsโฆand itโs likely that the same pattern may repeat thro out his careerโฆ
To understand the analogyโฆu can take a look at ur career growth and u will have some reference for comparison
Apart from thatโฆhe is living all alone so his expenses are also less โฆ
As a daughter itโs ur duty to provide ur familyโฆso clear out this things as wellโฆ because u will send some help to ur familyโฆand not all guys are comfortable with thisโฆso clarify this as wellโฆnot for this particular guy but for everyone else in case u chose not to marry himโฆ
Apart from thisโฆI think u r better judge of the situationโฆ
And many people on this post gave some inputs to u โฆsoโฆu can use these pointers to reach the decisionโฆ
Hope this helpsโฆ
All the best
He has upfront told me that he is looking for a working girl so that it will help him in futureโฆ so yes youโre right I contribute to my family as and when needed even if they donโt ask for it. If I choose to go ahead how am I gonna manage with moneyโฆ itโs like whatever I earn will go away and it will lead me to frustrationโฆ Today I can save some money, I can buy whatever I wantโฆ he also told me that he is not gonna do a job lifelongโฆ he is looking for a land to buy in his villageโฆ howโs that gonna help him in future? Also heโs been working in one company for 9 years long and now switched where he has 10 lakh CTC where in hand is only 7.20 lakhโฆ In some days I will overtake him with my packageโฆ I have thought of all the possibilities where my mind says no itโs not a good choice for me to go ahead as the future will be difficult for me at the same time the guy seems really good by natureโฆ but you never know how he will turn out to beโฆ so i am not able to make a decisionโฆ I am looking for a secured lifeโฆ i am not ready for any ups and downs again
Dartmouth @mortalzar
Having good nature isnโt gonna feed the humanโฆ
His plan to get into agri sounds optimisticโฆand incase he move to Villageโฆitโs highly likely that u will find the better job opportunity suitable to ur qualification thereโฆ
So think from that perspective as wellโฆ
Apart from thatโฆI have seen examples closely where husband is unsure about his careerโฆleaves jobโฆtry something elseโฆfails in itโฆand itโs all then slippery slopeโฆwife in thr ither hand toil hard .takes multiple roles like wife, mother and working professionals.she looks after kidsโฆand itโs all exhaustingโฆso it will be very big challange if he is of having thought of leaving job without any solid plan or future securityโฆ
After kids expenditures and responsible goes high exponentiallyโฆ
So choose wiselyโฆ
Zara Zulfia ๐ฆ @zara_zulfi...
Your making decisions what your brain says
jadav riya @jadav5992
Age
29 both of us
jadav riya @jadav5992
Good ๐
cool @cool1
You can meet and try to know him, check your financial goals are satisfying or not.
satya @satya01
Think only about yourself, no one will care how your life is going, life is precious, live your life as you want.