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Anonymous

Guys, I am in a situation where I have got a rishta for arrange marriage… The boy’s parents are no more, he has no financial backup except for his job… we are not sure how he spends money… He has done his diploma that is the only qualification he has… on the other hand I have reached till CA -final and currently working in a renowned organization where I will be promoted soon… after promotion my salary will be almost the same as him… There was a time where my family was facing financial issues and nobody helped… I have seen the bad days but through my job and Hard work I am financially in a good position now… If I choose to marry this guy I will be back to where I used to be financially because since he needs to start from the beginning so I have to contribute everything… The boy seems good I talked to him yesterday on a call but my mind is not ready to accept all the responsibilities and financial Crises coming along with him… I have some dreams in life for which i am saving money… that I can’t fulfill if i chose to marry him considering his financial situation. What shall I do?

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @zara_zulfia
17 replies

Appu Kannan @rajiv_ryan9

Please do whatever your mind telling. Ask yourself.

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Anonymous

don’t do the marriage when your heart and mind is not ready
it will make your and his life complicated

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Anonymous

If you are in confusion… Don’t take the decision. I think you should delay the marriage for now… Focus on yourself first…

This thought has been deleted by the thought author
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Anonymous

A bit complicated …
If u go in this reality and considering this harsh world, money does matter a lot and that too when we have struggled a lot to reach a stage where we can think off stabilizing our life .

Look for someone who is more stabilized , more importantly a good person so that you dont have to compromise either on ur family side or his .

Trust your vibes and calculations. Only you the best for you and your family and there is no harm thinking in long run :)

Hope , you get to right decision .Take care !!

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Anonymous

If I think about the long run then it might turn out emotionally and financially draining for me… I have been through financial crises where I have compromised many things in life where no-one helped my family in that situation. i am independent now where i can save my money, spend it on my dreams… If I go with this marriage then all my money will be given for the sake of that marriage and IDK where will I stand in future because the guy has no financial backup in case of any emergency… I can atleast ask my parents for help… he has no choice… the guy is nice but I can’t judge him basis one conversation… I think i should take a stand for myself this time though I need someone in life… my choices today will affect my future…

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Anonymous

If it would be a love marriage then you should have married him irrespective of financial condition and might grow togather. Now you have choice you can choose what’s best for u

Profile picture for Now&Me member @zara_zulfia

Zara Zulfia 🦋 @zara_zulfi...

Me too I’m also ca student

Dartmouth @mortalzar

Observe his history…it’s fine to start at less salary… everyone goes thro this in initial phase of the career…

What u shall look for is how high he excelled in his career from the starting point. If after working so many years in the industry he is still at the same level or have meagre hike or growth…then there must be the reasons…and it’s likely that the same pattern may repeat thro out his career…
To understand the analogy…u can take a look at ur career growth and u will have some reference for comparison

Apart from that…he is living all alone so his expenses are also less …

As a daughter it’s ur duty to provide ur family…so clear out this things as well… because u will send some help to ur family…and not all guys are comfortable with this…so clarify this as well…not for this particular guy but for everyone else in case u chose not to marry him…

Apart from this…I think u r better judge of the situation…

And many people on this post gave some inputs to u …so…u can use these pointers to reach the decision…

Hope this helps…

All the best

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Anonymous

He has upfront told me that he is looking for a working girl so that it will help him in future… so yes you’re right I contribute to my family as and when needed even if they don’t ask for it. If I choose to go ahead how am I gonna manage with money… it’s like whatever I earn will go away and it will lead me to frustration… Today I can save some money, I can buy whatever I want… he also told me that he is not gonna do a job lifelong… he is looking for a land to buy in his village… how’s that gonna help him in future? Also he’s been working in one company for 9 years long and now switched where he has 10 lakh CTC where in hand is only 7.20 lakh… In some days I will overtake him with my package… I have thought of all the possibilities where my mind says no it’s not a good choice for me to go ahead as the future will be difficult for me at the same time the guy seems really good by nature… but you never know how he will turn out to be… so i am not able to make a decision… I am looking for a secured life… i am not ready for any ups and downs again

Dartmouth @mortalzar

Having good nature isn’t gonna feed the human…
His plan to get into agri sounds optimistic…and incase he move to Village…it’s highly likely that u will find the better job opportunity suitable to ur qualification there…
So think from that perspective as well…

Apart from that…I have seen examples closely where husband is unsure about his career…leaves job…try something else…fails in it…and it’s all then slippery slope…wife in thr ither hand toil hard .takes multiple roles like wife, mother and working professionals.she looks after kids…and it’s all exhausting…so it will be very big challange if he is of having thought of leaving job without any solid plan or future security…

After kids expenditures and responsible goes high exponentially…
So choose wisely…

Profile picture for Now&Me member @zara_zulfia

Zara Zulfia 🦋 @zara_zulfi...

Your making decisions what your brain says

jadav riya @jadav5992

Age

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Anonymous

29 both of us

jadav riya @jadav5992

Good 👍

cool @cool1

You can meet and try to know him, check your financial goals are satisfying or not.

satya @satya01

Think only about yourself, no one will care how your life is going, life is precious, live your life as you want.

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