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Self EsteemThought

Profile picture for Now&Me member @daytripper

Daytripper @daytripper

Growing up in a poor family has always made me feel so low. My father did not even try to get a job to support our family and he is not a reliable person and may I say very abusive. We barely managed and some of our relatives helped us out financially. But most of my relatives are very well to do and I have always seen them and my cousins to look down at me and my brother. I remember many instances when we were cut off and put aside by them. To be honest, after a while the pain and the embarrassment became non-existential. I did not bother that I am poor, I just put my mind into my studies. I was bullied everywhere - school, college, university and I kept going on. Now, I am holding a good job, but still now some of these relatives would try to come and make sure that I know that I am poor. Sometimes it hurts. Why some people are so cruel to the others? Why you have to choose the harsh words? Yesterday I came to know that my maternal uncle is planning to get married. He is very close to my family and even he did not bother to tell us since we can not contribute to his marriage. The people I thought is close to me, care for me, is turning out to be selfish pricks. My girlfriend, my best friend, my abusive father, my uncles - all of them stand in one point and that is they are all selfish. And it hurts to even think about how they all are so self centered. I do not need their sympathy, their money. All I wanted was a good soul to support me. But as it turns out, that was too much hoping for. My girlfriend was my last place to rest my head in such turmoil. Now, even she is cheating on me. You may think that I am a sore loser. I am one maybe. Undesirable. But I never offered people anything else but my honesty, loyalty and love. And I never got any back.
Pray for me if you can. I am battling this battle after such a long time. And I do not know how long can I go unscathed. I do not have anyone else to write to or someone to talk with. So I keep writing here. And it reduces the pain even if a little bit.

1 reply

Let me just tell you that you are very strong and very genuine person. You have a good heart. You ofcourse cannot choose your relatives and i understand how hard it gets sometimes to ignore what they are saying. But ask yourself this question that can you really do something about this if the answer is yes then you’re sorted honey go and do it coz you got your own back and you’re got hell lot of strength. And if you think there is nothing you can do about it then it should be least of your worries. It hurts sometimes ik but just know that you’re kind and your kindness will attract people like you.
Have faith!


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