Greetings people. Here’s my story
I am an introvert but warm, loving and a caring person. I have a good sense of humour. Some people come to have a chat with me never to return back though I am able to engage people in conversations not just for the sake of it, I genuinely talk to them. Well, never mind but having some people come over to my place throws me at a spot. We talk a little, I share my bits of life with them and so do they, then I have nothing else left to talk about or to even do, silence creeps in, sometimes awkward, sometimes embarrassing and sometimes painful. And then, it’s the same story. They leave forever. Nope, they ain’t busy.
What hurts the most is to genuinely love and care for the people and somehow to still fail and be replaced or cut-out.
I calmed myself down by thinking that this is not about me but then I thought what if it is. And I am always ready for good changes. So I decided to open up more, talk more, be more expressive with people. And this is where I went wrong and it’s the only reason I am here.
The same day (1st day of my new mindset ?) I met a guy at a coffee shop. He needed some directions and we began to talk. To his every little joke, I laughed like crazy, I bombarded him with compliments, talked to him as if I knew him from a thousand years, cracked pathetic jokes and honestly none of my words made any sense and to be honest, I was just trying to be social. It was the cringiest thing ever. My colleague happened to be in the same cafeteria, she came to our table and her expressions were not kind. I ignored the feeling of uneasiness of what I was doing because I wanted to change for better. But here I am. I don’t feel myself anymore. Yep my colleague is being judgemental towards me and I hate it.
Does anybody have any tips/advice for my introverted life?
well…it takes 2 to keep a conversation going…but when no one has anything else left to say…its fine…that means the chatting is done…the boring part is trying to beat a dead conversation for more to say…when its over its over…but its normal…its time to say…“well goodnight” and chat another day when you all or both have something to talk about though…its not your fault you ran out of stuff to say nor is it the other person or persons fault…but forcing something to come out of it is when its awkward and cringy…if neither you nor the persons are ready to call it a day maybe an activity could be the answer to keeping a get together going…but not when you force it…and they can also help keep a get together going too with activities not leave it on your shoulders…they have to be great guests as much as you are at being a great host…and when it comes to get togethers its best to have them every week or so…everyone needs time to have something to talk about and having someone come over too often is sooooo annoying…you need space…everyone does…now when it comes to that bloke at the coffee shop…you dont need to change yourself in order to please anyone…this only chases someone off…and in the meantime make you unhappy…it will make you look desperate to please…you mentioned you wanted to change for the better…well…change the need to please…and be yourself…stop trying too hard and let everything be natural and calm…be relaxed and you…take your time and have fun…you can still chat with people…you dont have to force it…it doesnt need to happen all the time either.
Thank you for breaking it down Anthony. You are right. And it’s heart-warming to witness people trying to help and influence other people’s lives for better, suggesting them the best they know even without knowing them. Just to let you know that you are one of those beautiful people for me. ?
Actually,I like your posts and would like to enrich myself with your experience.
Can I speak to you privately?
I feel you should stop trying to be a people pleaser. Whosoever is genuinely interested will come into your life, quit trying to do something which you are not comfortable. You are an introvert and be a proud one at that
I really appreciate your taking time and responding. I needed this right now. Accept my gratitude. ?